This was an interesting concept; I liked how you decided to go with a revenge sex theme instead of something more...typical, I guess. I would have liked more back story on the characters though. I know you said it was all smut, but the bit at the beginning before the smut actually started would have been a good time to tell the readers a bit about what was going on. Maybe it's because I'm not overly familiar with Falling in Reverse, but I felt like I was missing a bit of important information that would have helped me be more invested in the characters and explained their actions a bit more.
There were also quite a few grammatical errors that took away from the story. Your dialogue tags were incorrect: “Ah now, don’t cry. I won’t hurt you.” He soothed, should be “Ah now, don’t cry. I won’t hurt you,” he soothed, -- with a comma before the quotation mark and the word after it (he, she, etc.) lowercase. I also would have liked to see a bit more description within the story. I know that with smut it's a bit harder, but it would have added a bit more to the story and made it feel less choppy and calculated, if that makes sense.
This was an interesting concept; I liked how you decided to go with a revenge sex theme instead of something more...typical, I guess. I would have liked more back story on the characters though. I know you said it was all smut, but the bit at the beginning before the smut actually started would have been a good time to tell the readers a bit about what was going on. Maybe it's because I'm not overly familiar with Falling in Reverse, but I felt like I was missing a bit of important information that would have helped me be more invested in the characters and explained their actions a bit more.
There were also quite a few grammatical errors that took away from the story. Your dialogue tags were incorrect: “Ah now, don’t cry. I won’t hurt you.” He soothed, should be “Ah now, don’t cry. I won’t hurt you,” he soothed, -- with a comma before the quotation mark and the word after it (he, she, etc.) lowercase. I also would have liked to see a bit more description within the story. I know that with smut it's a bit harder, but it would have added a bit more to the story and made it feel less choppy and calculated, if that makes sense.
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