Masked. - Comments

  • Mr. Darcy

    Mr. Darcy (16090)

    :
    Article Editor
    Gender:
    Age:
    27
    Location:
    Great Britain (UK)
    Hello, I'm the new judge for the 1 picture, 2 stories contest! Cute

    I have to admit, having just one chapter makes me feel that I'm missing something. The others each have two versions for their picture so I guess I was expecting this to as well.

    I like the simplicity of this. Just three guys going camping in the woods. Where the picture hints at something that's possibly otherworldly, you decided to change it up and go for something utterly human - an elaborate prank that toys with the idea while it's not entirely true. I must admit that I was expecting more disbelief from Tyler upon meeting the presumed creature. His willingness to just accept it felt a bit odd to me, especially when he decides to 'go' with the creature. We've been given no previous indication that he's interested in otherworldly things or has a fascination or acceptance of them, so it really didn't make much sense.

    Also I felt that this was more telling than showing. It felt stated, as if you're trying to tell everything, rather than having it being shown and flowing that way. That took away some of the reading experience, if I'm honest.

    Overall I did like this piece but there were several things as stated above that were glaring enough to grab my attention.
    June 10th, 2016 at 04:54am