The Truth Is in the Lies - Comments

@ XXXataktoulaXXX
thank you so much, darling. you brought tears to my eyes. your critiques will help me to further my writing skills, but your comments will ring in my head until the say that i die. thank you. just... thank you so much

Layout:
It would made an even great impact if the blue-ish background was black, not only because it doesn't fit the rest but because the text at the sides seems awkward.

Summary:
It pulls you in so naturally which is amazing. Second person is working really well with that one, and the short description of their breathing pattern is adding more.

Chapter 1/1:
The first thing that came on my mind was dysmorphia but after taking a better look at it while reading I realized the depression and how much the narrator wanted to be perfect, just like the banner.

The first paragraph which was the same as the summary was grand, and the third paragraph brings more tension to the piece.

You realize just too late her truths.
These words seem too real. Well done!.

I realized that I like the last sentence of each paragraph, and no, I'm not kidding. To end each paragraph with sentences that make a great impact on the readers mind is very hard, and you have already mastered that. Congratz!

All you wanted was Vanity Fair.
You just left me speechless yet again.

You are a great writer, I can honestly say that.

-Maria.

This..<3 so much love for this description. It's amazing how you made me see her, feel her as I do. Subbed and recommended!!

First Impression: Okay, the layout is beautiful and the summary is already making me feel really eerie but excited to read. Also, you followed the tension with a sentence that made me laugh ("I'm also supposed to say"). For some reason, I found that quite amusing.

"All you wanted was Vanity Fair" - Jesus Christ, what a great ending!
I loved this story, it's so thought provoking and absolutely brilliant. I kind of felt like it was about someone with body dysmorphia, but it could be seen in so many different lights. You've achieved something in less than 300 words, that a lot of professionally published authors can't achieve in 300 pages. Amazing.

@ laredo.
okay, i just reread the story. honestly, i think i was going for something along the lines of "you" watching yourself. and instead of seeing this disgusting being that "you" used to be and needs change , "you're" actually just the opposite. the truth of the matter is it's not even about the girl or guy. it's about perception. it's disease. you know?

well thank you anyway, that was a fresh look into it and it made me think more than my perception of the story

What I liked about this was you described it as if we are sitting in a psych ward, looking at her and there is like, a voice over. You know, like in Psycho? I loved that and then you switched the point of view to second person, which I thought worked rather well. Usually it would have seemed strange but I thought it was great. It seemed like the girl was switching point of views herself. She was watching herself like in Psycho.

I also liked how realistic this piece was. Those are realistic things a girl in her case would think. But my favorite part of this piece was the last sentence. It pulls all of it together and leaves the reader thinking.

Well done.