June 15th, 2016 at 03:06pm
Wow, this is great! Your interpretation of the lyrics is very, very interesting. I wouldn't have guessed this was the route you'd take but I'm intrigued.
I like how you use he's and she's but don't give any real names (aside from Dr. Brooke). I also enjoy how you don't reveal many other things, such as what happened to make the girl this way, who "She" is, how the narrator ended up with her, etc. And you also flawlessly depict their personalities not through spoken words or descriptions, but by mannerisms and actions, which I love to read and use in my own writing. I very much enjoyed your writing style.
Thank you so much for entering this in my Obscure Song Contest! This entry is stellar. :)
When I heard the song, I wasn't sure what to expect with this piece but I really love the direction you've taken. To me, the song sounds like someone going through depression but to take it in a mental health route is unexpected but done very well.
I love that we get to see a glimpse of how he feels as she lives her unstable life, and how there's a moment of her wanting things to be normal but she knows she won't because 'She' will always be there. I also like that we aren't given any names to personalise the characters, but we do get a sense of what they're like - especially the man, who very obviously cares for and loves the woman he's with. The way you've ended this is stunning, there's so much emotion in that he's accepted that 'She' will be around but it feels bittersweet in a way because he's also accepted that this has become a routine and not one he particularly enjoys. But he sticks around because he loves her and I find that very sweet, though it's emotionally taxing.
This was a really lovely piece and I loved your interpretation of the song! Thank you for entering :)