Immortalized - Comments

Amazing story! You have the perfect mix of sadness and beauty--and balance that's really hard to get right. Even though Haley never outright speaks, there's just so much life and depth to her character, even in two short chapters. Well done.

Absolutely fantastic.

I...oh my word...I'm crying like a baby :'( I'd give anything to be able to write this well *sighs* I loved it so much, although...my feels are just...asdfghjkl;'l' <3

@ Bublegum@ JeremyTheThirteenth
Thank you both so much <3 I'm glad you liked it!!

This was so beautiful, I honestly started crying at the end. I was named after Halley's comet, but spelled like Haley. This was so lovely. This may seem weird but the way you described her reminded me of my cat who ran away. She was very quite and loving, with snow white fur and two different colored eyes.

This was so beautiful, I honestly started crying at the end. I was named after Halley's comet, but spelled like Haley. This was so lovely. This may seem weird but the way you described her reminded me of my cat who ran away. She was very quite and loving, with snow white fur and two different colored eyes.

It was the most beautiful story ever <3
I loved it...

@ margarine megurine
Thank you!!!! I'll get all that stuff edited, and I might fix the alignment... But seriously, it means alot

The summary is really interesting! I definitely didn’t expect that. Also, I didn’t expect it to be aligned to the right. I had trouble adjusting my eyes to it

I love this line: I was one of the few who took the time to recognize it, and I wouldn't trade it for anything in this world.

Haley and I would try to see who could point out the first star of the night - I usually pretended not to see it, just so I could feel her poke me in the arm, point to it and giggle.
Shouldn’t that be separated by a period instead of a dash especially since they’re both complete sentence?

Another line that I loved: On clear nights, when the moon is thin, a million stars scatter themselves abroad, along with the Milky Way flowing in their midst.

One night I broke down right there above her dead body.
There should be a comma after ‘night’.

She was too young; Haley was too beautiful; too loved.
‘Too loved’ isn’t a sentence so it shouldn’t be separated by a semicolon. It should be combined with the second sentence.

I couldn't help but look up to them and give Haley a lesson on the Constillations and other heavenly bodies.
You misspelled constellations in that sentence and also incorrectly capitalized it. Constellations is a common noun so it doesn’t need to be capitalized.

My favorite part: My brain clicked, and for the first time in months, a smile played on my lips.

"Mrs. Haley Winfar Brooke, you lucky girl."

Only the best and most tragic of people get remembered... I guess God thought she was both, so he gave her an immortal legacy in the skies.

I was squealing when I read this but it’s so tragic and sad that I couldn’t roll around my bed without getting depressed. It’s a very emotional story so kudos for you for not making it too overbearing. The details are fine. I have no complaints about that.

Truly, it’s a great story with the perfect amount of emotion and details inside. You painted a beautiful picture in my mind and I doubt that I’ll forget it. This is such an amazing piece, I swear.

@ Indigo Umbrella
Thank you, love

Hi. I'm a terrible commenter of stories so I don't know what to say. I just wanted you to know that I read this and enjoyed it and maybe even sniffled a bit. It was beautifully written and I really liked it. ^.^ *Runs away*

@ onlyme_1998
It was my pleasure, I'm glad you liked it :) <3

Oh gosh, im crying! It was so sweet and beautiful. I think that he will join her in the stars one day, you wrote and aewsome story, I love it thank you!:)

STOP FLATTERING ME I MEAN I'M BLUSHING

Oh my heavens and all the galaxys in the whole this is beautiful, amazing, and the mist precious thing I think I have ever reaf, can't wait for the rest