The Perks of Dying - Comments

Okay, not cool why do you have me laughing at the beginning and then you leave me teary-eyed trying to supress the actual tears because my fiance is right next to me?

This is for the "calaveritas de azucar" you requested form my candy bowl.

I love the layout, the image you chose as a banner, and the soft colors you chose to go with the story; it gives these at ease vibe that they both feel when they are together and I just find it beautiful when a layout as a whole ties in perfectly with a story.

The thing that I loved most about this is the character interactions and how the narrator, Adelaide, muses to herself in between them; that is what breaks my hear the most because you can actually tell that she has been avoiding these feelings, this situation, because of her fear of being hurt due to him being the "dying boy". I absolutely love that, the strong emotional connection between the two
and how that fear has kept her from expressing herself completely.

This reminded me so much of The Fault in Our Stars, by the way, so you got me crying again for your story, for Adelaide and Val, and for the book too

first of all, the layout is so lovely and the girl's dress on the banner is so cute (I'd like that in my closet, haha.)

i really like the relationship between val and adelaide; it's so cute and innocent, but mildly depressing because of val mentioning dying. that's just...so unfair. we barely got to know his awesome character (i mean, just his description is absolutely adorable) and we're already made known of his fate. and that kissing part? hello. (; it was so cute and almost childlike; just so precious. i think the ending sentence -- Why did the dying boy have to kiss as though he had eternity in his hands? -- really brought the story home and made it real. i absolutely love this.

i do apologize that this comment is not up to par with the one that you gave me (which i really appreciate, thank you!), but it's getting a bit late and i need to sleep. anyways, this short story is so cute and beautiful and i really enjoyed reading it. definitely reccing it out. lovely job!.

Oh my gosh, this is an amazing short story. You seriously need to get your work published because you could easily be a freaking famous author! This was so short, I didn't know what to expect, but it was amazing nonetheless. Awesome short story as well, just so you know ^-^ Thank you for pointing me in the direction after the writing contest XD

GOD FUCKING DAMMIT WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME OMFG RIGHT IN THE FEELS. Seriously everything I've read of yours is riddled with perfection and sadness and death and love and I hate you because it's so wonderful. I can't even give you a substantial comment because I have nothing to critique. All I can really say is I'd like some more please.

Hahaha, okay. So immediately this made me crack up, and die laughing. Normally I would be annoyed by starting off a story with dialogue but that was great. I can relate and that conversation felt so real as if you were eavesdropping on me and a friend one night.

You create characters incredibly well, and I love the relationship that they have. It's very realistic and I like that. You didn't try to stretch their relationship or make it seem unrealistic. Well done.

I really enjoyed this story and I have to say it was a punch to the chest when I found out he was dying. It was definitely a crazy plot twist. What a bittersweet story. Thanks for recommending this to me. :)

Goodness gracious, way to rip my heart out.

But, I mean, that aside - whoa. Good job. First line is a hook, right off the bat. The conversation that ensues is so real, like one that you can find between friends anywhere. Adelaide and Val are great. I really enjoyed their easygoing camaraderie... and then BAM.

He's dying? I mean, I should have expected it from the title, but it still was a bit of a shock. And from the summary, I guessed what would happen next. And it happened, and it was a kind of bittersweet beautiful.

When Adelaide is kind of talking to herself about sticking with him even though everyone else has disappeared because of emotional attachment and so on - it really reminded me of the real life situation of Zach Sobiech. Except his friends didn't really leave him. But he had a girlfriend who stuck with him until the end, and that is what your story reminds me of. How she made that choice as his friend. I love this.

Also, the father's role seems so real to me. When a child is dying, his or her parents will do everything for those moments of happiness and laughter, even if it means smokes or allowing a girl around.

The last line, of course, tied this all up and effectively took a stab at my heart. Absolutely perfect way to end it. The words reflect all that I have learned about Val in this oneshot - that he would act as if he had all the time left, which matches his laid-back attitude. It's awfully sad, still, and I feel for Adelaide. Although this is just a one-shot, I want to know what happens - you could easily pull this out into a whole story.

Overall, I really enjoyed reading this. :) Recc'ing most definitely. I'm glad I saw your comment swap journal!

I love one shots with this level of creativity and talent. The title had me intrigued, and then when you worked it into Val's dialogue I knew this was going to be super sad. But it's a beautiful kind of sad.

The layout is very nice; not too much, not too little.

The story started out with a instant hook, and I wanted to read on. I love the relationship between these two characters. It didn't seem forced or made up; it was very believable.

The description of Val's eyes and hair was brilliantly written. And I love the line grey pools that pulled me back in . It was very beautiful.

This was one of the better one shots I've read, and I liked it a lot. You're a good writer. Good job!

This story is so beautiful. The beginning seemed to be like a couple of friends just sitting around talking like everyone does. Then you learn that Val has a disease that he is going to die from. I love it.

The way you wrote the story wonderfully. The details that you have put into that makes it possible to see this like watching a movie or something along those lines. I love a story that has knows when to place the details at exactly the right spot. You were able to do just that.

The layout is wonderful. It's easy to the eyes, and doesn't have too much going to it. That's wonderful. I like the simple layouts for stories.

Anyways, I'm glad that I got the chance to read this wonderfully story. You are a very talented writer.

Ah man, I thought someone was going to be dying when I first started reading this, and then I got my hopes up in the middle that maybe they weren't, and then it got all tragic at the end again.

I really liked this. You had the perfect amount of dialogue and description. The conversations between the characters also flowed really well, and you could tell that they were best friends/whatever it is they are now.

The title was awesome, too. I like that you worked it into the story as well, Val said it at one point. It’s always interesting seeing where people get the titles from or how they think up some of the dialogue.

This, my dear, is probably my favorite one shot that I've read in ages! It oozes that sense of teenage drama, it seems to me anyway, that this has just been ripped out from the pages of a love story novel or something. I love it! The summary is short, but just enough to draw you in. The first paragraph has you hooked straight away. Your conversations flow well and have a feeling of sincerity, not like they're forced, that they could actually be spoken outside of a story. This is quite a sad tale, but it's still one that I like, it has an edge and I'm still actually trying to work out what it is that separates this from other stories of it's genre. Anyway, I think this is fantastic. Very well done!

Oh wretched despair cloaked in alcohol and hazy smoke the sadness that dwells in your heart is contagious. Far away we strangers run from you, from these lies and treacherous feelings that leave mildew on our skin. You're killing us. You're not for us. And this we say as truth. And then we hide.

What a sad story man.