Betrayed - Comments

I hope Z and Fi can sit down and talk, and realize that they both want the same thing. And that Fi doesn't let her past ruin her future. Happy New Year!

Aww I Really loved this chapter. At the same time that I can't believe that Gena would run off, I was totally expecting it: What a heifer!! Poor Zia falling down and getting a concussion! Those things are bad news, I've had three :P I'm super excited about the next update :)

So glad Zia is ok! You know, I was starting to warm up to Gena a bit, but for her to go and pull shit like that is just unbelievable. I mean, I'm pretty sure the way to getting on someone's good side isn't to leave them at the hospital, without a word, in their time of need. Not only are you not helping your chances, I wouldn't trust someone like that, and would always wonder if they would be true to their word or not.

@ vampire_sun
I think I needed some commas in there. I sometimes forget to edit in my hurry to post. Glad you can't keep silent! I love commentary and, sadly, don't get enough of it on some stories.

@deadroseawaiting, gotcha. The sentence still reads a bit funny to me, but I get what you're saying. And you're welcome for the comment. I'm normally a silent reader, but with this I can't always keep my thoughts to myself :)

@ vampire_sun
Hey, thanks for commenting. Actually, I meant it as a distinction between the ways you can throw someone out, like verbally telling them to leave, packing their stuff and pitching it out, or bodily removing them.

@ vampire_sun
Hey, thanks for commenting. Actually, I meant it as a distinction between the ways you can throw someone out, like verbally telling them to leave, packing their stuff and pitching it out, or bodily removing them.

Uh oh, I've a feeling something bad is gonna happen, even though I want things to be happy for these two. They've both been through so much and deserve some happiness.

Just one note, near the beginning, the sentence should read " I'd throw her body out of the house", not bodily. Can't wait to read what happens next!

I love this story!! It's so darn cute. I'm really intrigued with the reappearance if Gena, I'm excited to see what's gonna go down with this.

@ saint james.
Thanks! I'm so glad you stuck with it even though I forgot to reply to your comment before. I'm stoked that you like the new updates and I hope to bring you guys more very soon. I actually get to go home early tonight, earlier than I normally do, so I'll hopefully get to update tonight too!

@ vampire_sun
Thanks! I hate that it has no more comments than what it does, but almost all of my stories, with the exception of "Bigger is Better" has very few comments . . .with a lot of readers and some subscribers. I don't mind silent readers but I love those that do comment.

Also, thanks for bringing that to my attention. I honestly don't proofread (evident, right?) very much and some of the sentence fragments are by products of starting a thought and getting interrupted, thinking that I'd finished the sentence when I came back. :/ But I'm super glad that you brought it to my attention 'cause now I can be more careful and at least glance through it before I post.

Thanks for reading and commenting!

I could have sworn I commented before, but apparently I meant to but forgot. Anyways, I'm really liking this a lot. It's so sweet and I look forward to seeing where it goes. Like saint james, I don't understand why this story has so few comments-it definitely deserves more.

Just one bit of con-crit, while writing/proof-reading, make sure you aren't using sentence fragments. I noticed it in a couple of places, and while I understood what you were saying, it would make the story flow better if the thoughts were completed.

Why is there such a lack of comments? I am loving this story and Zack and Fiona are just perfect for each other. I can not believe that Gena came back and I am so proud that Fiona stood up for her family. I hope that you update very soon because I am looking forward to reading more.

I really enjoy reading your story. Zia is too cute and I love how all three of them are a family now. Fiona leaving Brian was probably the best decision she made because now she has someone that loves her and she fixed Zacky's broken heart. I really hope that you update very soon because I can not wait to read more.

Keep updating!
I really wanna know what happens between Brian being 'ok' with Fi leaving with Zack.

i really like it and your writing skils cant wait to see what happens :)