Further - Comments

Summary:
Again you have a great summary, it doesn't give away too much but just enough to intrigue people!

Chapter One:
I enjoyed how short it was but the fact that it's relatable to anyone that knows what it's like to feel lonely, this chapter also has a great flow of sentences and sounds poetic.

Chapter Two:
The reader can really feel the emotion behind the person as they think about their other half, nice work!

Chapter Three:
I really, really want to know why their other half left them! Dammit, poor thing! Let me love you

Chapter Four:
Aww wow, I wonder what they did Everyone makes mistakes though.

Chapter Five:
The suspense is killing me and my curiousity is getting the better of me, I don't know what to expect but I'm really loving this!

Chapter Six:
.... Oh... OH! I figured it might be like that but... but why?! That's so sad Why would you pull my heartstrings like that? I trusted you

I don't...I don't even know what to say. This entire thing was full of so much emotion for being so short and I am just in awe. You were able to say so much without using so many words which I think is sometimes pretty hard for some writers to do, but you nailed it perfectly. So many feels involved!

The first chapter is short and to the point, and to me I sense a bit of anger beneath the words, like the speaker is anger at the person who has left them. It feels raw and realistic, like someone would feel naturally to a loved one that's left them.

I love the comparison you made between the two and a puzzle, with them fitting together perfectly and the speaker saying that their fingers will never fit with anyone's the same as they did theirs - like a puzzle piece would do.

I don't have much to say on chapter three even though it shows memories, but gosh chapter four eludes to the fact that the loved one is dead with the "pale face" and "blue of your lips" and I can truly understand the anger in the first chapter now.

Then chapter five leads perfectly to chapter six, and the question of "why did you leave me behind?" strikes me as the speaker feeling betrayed by the dead one even though they're on their way to joining them - like, they should not have died and left them alone to live because that's not fair and how very selfish of them. How dare they.

I really like the anger and the rawness of this story, and the shortness of each chapter gives such an impact that longer chapters would not do. Your writing is almost poetic and it's actually truly beautiful, especially with how you managed to portray something so brilliant in such short amount of words.

This is pretty eerie and the detail is so nice yet its kept so simple. The style that you write in is simple yet I am in love with it having read Coffee Stains.

Wow, this is wonderful. I had this very eerie feeling about it, but I truly love this story. It says so much while saying so little. The detail that you've put into this without using so many words captivated me. I love how original this is. I felt so many emotions just reading the first chapter! :)

Keep up the great work! I will be keeping you under my recommended authors ;)

I officially am in love with your style of writing. The beginning made me wonder and in the middle, I thought there was some hope she'd return. Then you slowly brought me slowly to the fact she was dead, just by the mention of blue lips and let that sink in before handing me a sad and really poetic type of ending. Your writing is flawless, and once again, I have to comment on how your details and descriptions are not overly done. You give just enough to paint a good picture and allow the reader to fill in the blanks. I love it.

Once again, same way as Coffee Stains....ALL THE FEELS.

You are seriously a really talented writer. You should have a book filled with all of these short stories.

All the emotions you stir in just a few short paragraphs. The first chapters made me happy. Then, your endings make me just a tad depressed. But these are the kind of stories that I usually look for in a book when I read outside of Mibba. Those that leave you with a bittersweet feeling, and you have no choice but to read them again and again, to see if the feeling gets better.

For me, those are the best kinds of writings and stories.

I'm so glad you asked me for Mibba Treats! If not, I think I would've missed out on your awesome work! Keep it up!

Crap, I began to suspect something was up after the fourth chapter and I turned out to be right. I just read your other piece and that made me sad to. You just have a talent for giving me this mixed feeling of depression and amazement. I'm so sad because of how it ended, but I'm still going through all the emotions you took us through. I begin to feel as empty and lonely as the main character did.

Sigh. Your writing is amazing as always. :]

This was so gut-wrenching to read. It made me pretty depressed, I'm not going to lie, but that's what's so amazing about it! Again, I love the way you wrote it. I felt like I could easily connect with the character and could feel the distraught emotions he was feeling. I love how he said her side of the bed was cold, but his was colder. It really made me think about how lonely he was feeling. It's so sad that he went out that way, though. It's sad to think that he couldn't carry on with the positive memories.

Nonetheless, I loved this, too and am definitely recommending! I also loved the layout, by the way. Great job on this altogether!

I just started reading this and I"m loving it, Bunbn. <3 GOod job!