The layout seems a little busy to me, but I do adore how the background of the banner is in the background of the story page itself. I like that the summary is fairly ambiguous and it kind of makes me think this is going to be a sad one. The little two-liner works well as a hook though.
Content
Right from the word go I get the sense that Lucy and James weren't ever going to be good for one another. She seems to pre-occupied with her past and he seems to know this, but still goes ahead and goes home with her anyway. In that way, I think both characters have this beautiful flawed aspect to their personalities, which really works with the storyline as a whole. It gives the entire relationship the two have this poisonous feeling to it and even through the first few sentences they speak to one another, they make me uneasy. I know something potentially nasty or sad is going to happen. I'm not a huge fan of sudden sad endings, so having that build up right from the beginning is a really lovely touch that makes this story even more enjoyable for me.
The ending is absolutely heartbreaking though. You can tell throughout that somewhere in his mind, James hoped that she would have been able to get over Kendall and that everything would work out but as was said below, this was far more realistic and it really does have an impact when you read the last two lines. I don't think I've read a storey with an ending that made me genuinely feel for a character in a while, so this was a lovely (in the weirdest sense of the word because it wasn't lovely, it was heart-wrenching) way to finish the piece off. No unrealistic 'I think I love you' exchanges, just someone who wasn't over the last person they dated and another person who wants to replace that person.
Concrit
I don't think I noticed anything throughout!
Overall
This is different to everything I'd usually read, but I love the realism of it. It makes the end of the story more hard-hitting and combimed with the flaws you give the characters and your (as always) beautiful writing style, it's an amazing little piece!
The layout seems a little busy to me, but I do adore how the background of the banner is in the background of the story page itself. I like that the summary is fairly ambiguous and it kind of makes me think this is going to be a sad one. The little two-liner works well as a hook though.
Content
Right from the word go I get the sense that Lucy and James weren't ever going to be good for one another. She seems to pre-occupied with her past and he seems to know this, but still goes ahead and goes home with her anyway. In that way, I think both characters have this beautiful flawed aspect to their personalities, which really works with the storyline as a whole. It gives the entire relationship the two have this poisonous feeling to it and even through the first few sentences they speak to one another, they make me uneasy. I know something potentially nasty or sad is going to happen. I'm not a huge fan of sudden sad endings, so having that build up right from the beginning is a really lovely touch that makes this story even more enjoyable for me.
The ending is absolutely heartbreaking though. You can tell throughout that somewhere in his mind, James hoped that she would have been able to get over Kendall and that everything would work out but as was said below, this was far more realistic and it really does have an impact when you read the last two lines. I don't think I've read a storey with an ending that made me genuinely feel for a character in a while, so this was a lovely (in the weirdest sense of the word because it wasn't lovely, it was heart-wrenching) way to finish the piece off. No unrealistic 'I think I love you' exchanges, just someone who wasn't over the last person they dated and another person who wants to replace that person.
Concrit
I don't think I noticed anything throughout!
Overall
This is different to everything I'd usually read, but I love the realism of it. It makes the end of the story more hard-hitting and combimed with the flaws you give the characters and your (as always) beautiful writing style, it's an amazing little piece!