Syreni - Comments

@ dougie poynter;
Thank you so much! That comment made my day

I'm here judging the Drabble Away entries!

The layout for this is so pretty. I know it's pretty much just the photograph you were given but the fact that it is just the photograph makes everything so simple and beautiful. It seems pure in a way and I love that.

I love stories about mermaids, but too many times I see them being over-romanticised. Most of the folklore stories I've read (with the exception of Hans Christian Andersen's tale) portray mermaids as these tricksters with a love for luring seamen to their deaths, so I'm super-excited that you've decided to take that route with this. Honestly, I wouldn't have gotten mermaids from the photograph, so I'm really impressed with the creativity you've shown there.

As losing control. said, this piece has this fantastically poetic feel to it. Everything flows together beautifully and it's really lovely to read. The descriptions that you give of the mermaid almost remind me of the description's from Shakespeare's Sonnet 130, except obviously yours are very positive. I loved Sonnet 130, so the fact that your writing style reminds me very strongly of that is definitely a massive positive in my book. It's simplistic, yet it isn't too simple. You've included so much detail but you haven't gone overboard. You don't show much characterisation here, but then again, I don't think you needed to because the mermaid seemed to be described beautifully anyway.

Spelling / grammar wise, I saw absolutely nothing that needed changing, so really well done!

In conclusion, I was really impressed by this piece. It's nice to read a story about mermaid that differs from the ones that I've had the pleasure of reading in the past and it's definitely a pleasure to read something that is written so well!

I'll be announcing the winners by the 15th, so keep your eyes peeled. Good luck!

@ losing control.
Yah, I've had this crazy urge to write about mermaids lately, and idk why.

But thank you

I love stories about mermaids. Everyone seems to have a different take on them, but they are all slightly similar in the way that they end and I like seeing how different authors get there.

I liked how you wrote this, it was very poetic and the flow is it was really lovely. It worked well with the content of the story as well, it was kind of mysterious like the mermaid and flowed like the ocean, I suppose, haha.

Your descriptions were really lovely as well. They were simple and you didn’t over-describe anything, it was a really nice balance.

But yes, well done!