Regretting and Protecting - Comments

  • n. josten

    n. josten (1270)

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    Ghoul of 2016
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    92
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    United States
    I’m here as the new judge for the ‘That One Story’ contest.

    This was a really unapologetically gruesome story, especially with you going into the details of the post-abortion. It invoked a certain combination of emotions in me; sadness, queasiness, fear, and anger—before it was discovered that the narrator had lied to her friend. To be entirely honest, I’m not sure why she lied. I know she said that she thinks she did it because she was hurt and wanted him to be more of a bad guy than he actually was, but I still don’t understand why she would want that, no matter how hurt she was. He didn’t actually do anything wrong so I couldn’t figure out why she so desperately wanted to paint him in such a bad light to her friend. Maybe it was just a strange coping mechanism that I didn’t entirely comprehend, though.

    I appreciated how you wrote about her overwhelming regret and the rest of her emotions. The “flashback” (or story that she was telling, I’m not sure) was very detailed and immersed me into the entire situation. So overall, even though this was an extremely sensitive topic, I respect you for writing about it in such blunt detail. Good job.
    June 29th, 2017 at 10:22am
  • DevilboyKyle

    DevilboyKyle (100)

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    Member
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    36
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    Netherlands
    I liked how the story was around a serious matter that many teenagers go through nowadays. Abortion is everywhere, no kidding. This was a serious, realistic oneshot and I'm glad I had the chance to read it.
    September 27th, 2013 at 02:56pm
  • Verona Viridian

    Verona Viridian (200)

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    Member
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    29
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    India
    Aww . . Oh no! Where is the happy ending? Cry

    This was a great topic to write on, as I'm sure most do regret their decisions afterwards . . .
    It causes awareness as well! Good job Marian!
    No negative comments for this one!

    Please do keep on writing!

    ~ Verona :)
    September 15th, 2013 at 04:27pm
  • Jefferson Starships

    Jefferson Starships (330)

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    Member
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    United States
    This is a sensitive topic. I don't know if the story reflects your opinion, if you are the girl, I don't know. Here isn't the place to tell my opinion either. I'll say that you really did bring out emotion (bonus for you!) because I was so scared for her after she started bleeding. I thought she was gonna die...

    You got the objective but you kinda tried too hard. Make it more natural so that way you don't have to spell it out. Layout
    September 7th, 2013 at 01:09pm