Hidden Staircase - Comments

@ Matthew Sanders;
Thanks very much I do have chapter two started I just didn't post it yet.

This is really good. It's very original too. I do hope you will post more, because I really like this!

and I am tired of people saying that I was rude when I wasn't because I am this way in general. Like if someone asked me to edit their story; then that to me would include grammar, punctuation, etc... and I wanted to know what people thought of the concept. I said that I knew the story had grammatical issues but I read alot of stories that had typos as well as grammar issues here on Mibba and unless the author asked for someone to edit it then I wouldn't and they still recieved feedback on their story regardless.

@ Join the Masquerade
ok

I'm writing you a comment because I saw your blog wanting to know why you aren't getting feedback.

I wouldn't normally comment on a story like this. You had a bit of a snap at someone below in the comments for mentioning your grammar. I'm not going to point out your mistakes, but they are there and they are many. This is important to note because it puts me off the story entirely. A few odd commas and misspelled words is okay but you really should edit your work to be its best before you post it.

If you aren't dedicated to presenting your story then people aren't going to be dedicated to reading and commenting it.

@ seann_nicole

@ PoeticBeauty86
Ya welcome!

@ discipulus amoris
Whoops!That was an accident.I'm pretty sure I wasn't talking to you.I was in a hurry when I wrote that so yeah.But other than that I wasn't talking to you I am new here so I probably accidentally clicked your name.I would like it if you would just leave me alone now.

@ discipulus amoris
I get what you were trying to do, but I editied my story enough so that it isn't too bad in terms of grammar, and I plan on editing it completely after my book is finish if I edit every single small detail then I won't finish this book, again I only wanted to know what you thought of my story, I did not want you to edit it, but critique the concept, when I wrote my blog I asked for peoples reactions to the story itself, because this is my first attempt at writing a murder mystery.

@ seann_nicole

Thanks and I don't mind being told what's wrong with the actual concept and or plot, because that's what makes a story and entices the readers. I just don't need a grammar lesson lol because this story is raw no editing done yet until I reach the middle of the story or the end.

@ seann_nicole
I wasn't telling her what's "write", I was telling her what's "right" because the story can be removed from Mibba for being incorrectly formatted and having too many grammatical issues. I said fixing them might help with the flow of the story--it's called constructive criticism--and you can't expect not to get it. I was trying to be nice and help her avoid getting the whole piece removed.

Good story!I'm not going to be like the other person and saying what's wrong about your story instead of what we liked.It was great!

@ discipulus amoris

@ PoeticBeauty86
I loved your story you obviously don't want to be told what's write and what's not.I don't blame you i wouldn't either.It was good!

um I wanted to know what you thought of the story lol not my grammatical errors, and oh btw most of my grammar issues are due to Microsoft Word, everytime I try to get rid of commas or anything and write things the correct way and points it out as wrong and then I correct it according to word, but of course I know it made sense the first time around. In terms of quotations I do need to make sure to fix that I been told to leave quotes in or out of parathese's so I figured once I find myself an editior that they will help me out, hence why I wanted to know what you thought of the actual story and now the grammar issues, because I am aware of them.

I saw your blog and decided to come check this out

I've noticed extensive grammatical issues with this, and though I absolutely hate when people point grammar mistakes out, I think it can help with the flow of your story.

First off: On Mibba, when you post a story, there should be two spaces between paragraphs or you risk getting your story removed or changed without your consent.

Second: You should use only one punctuation mark at the end of a sentence, such as your first one (which is onomatopoeia, I presume?) Instead of 'Drip, Drop, Boom!!!', it should be 'Drip, drop, boom!'. Also, onomatopoeia should always be italicized like so: [i]Drip, drop, boom![/i]

Third: You should only use commas were you pause. Try repeating your sentences out loud do yourself, such as the sentence 'The rain went from a light shower, to a silver sheet of pouring rain...' the comma shouldn't be there: you only need commas when you're using a conjunction or you have list of 3 or more items without using and between any except the last two items on the list.

Fourth: When you write dialogue, punctuation should always be inside the quotations. The dialogue piece '"Dam it",' should be '"Dammit,"' unless the speaker is expressing much emotion, then it should be '"Dammit!"'.

Fifth: You should either end a paragraph with a proper ending-punctuation mark, such as a period, question mark, or an exclamation point, never a comma. On some occasions, it can be ended with a colon.

Other than the abundance of grammatical issues, the story was just fine.