Feel the Same - Comments

I don't often get the chance to read pieces written in second-person narrative, mainly because a lot of people can't pull it off. It's a really difficult narrative to pull off for a few lines, never mind a whole piece so major kudos to you for managing to pull it off so well! Usually, I'd ask why you've used such an unusual narrative stance, but here it's really apparent because it puts you right in the situation and that's what I like about this piece. The narrative stance works beautifully with the subject matter. I don't think you'd have managed to create as much impact if you had used a different narrative stance.

I think you've done a marvellous job of showing that the human race needs interaction and at least some form of love to survive here. Even the most cold-hearted of people longs for compassion and acceptance, although a lot of them won't admit it to anyone but themselves. You've also done a great job of showing that selfishness and closing yourself in can have disastrous consequences. Luckily, this story avoided those consequences and I'm so glad that it did because (again, going back to the narrative choice) I honestly think I would have cried because I feel like this is all happening to me as I read it.

You've got this almost...I don't know, it doesn't seem like an entirely happy ending, but it isn't horribly sad either. I'm not sure how to feel coming out of this piece. I'm so relieved that he didn't hurt himself, but then again, there is still a long way to go in terms of getting the trust built up. It's left me totally confused and muddled up inside and I like that, for once. It's an interesting way to end this most definitely.

Overall, definitely impressed. This was a really philosophical piece and I think that, despite choosing what is easily one of the most difficult narrative stances to write in, you've done a top-notch job!

This was really good! Your grammar, spelling, and punctuation were all awesome, which is one of the major things I judged on. I would have really loved to see a lot of dialogue in this, though. Dialogue really keeps my mind reeled into the story!

This was a really good entry, and you'll know the results of the contest soon!