Darkness Consumes Her - Comments

First off, I love the minimalist look to your layout. However I do think it would look a lot more aesthetically pleasing if the font was a little smaller and they were all the same type. (i.e. Arial, Times New Roman.)

The summary was what got me, since I'm hardly ever pulled to titles. Rhetoric is great here. It really gets you paying attention, interested in both her and her ancestor. Where it says "inner true being" should be "true inner being".

Though your writing style is a bit more monologue, and odd to read instead of hear spoken, your words flow in a way that feels so right. The first three paragraphs alone feel like some sort of movie introduction or the "Earlier on Show Name Here" reviews before the start of a new episode.

Your description really paints a nice picture, if you didn't already hear that. Things aren't rushed and everything is written to create a very realistic setting of something that may not be so realistic to some, which I find very lovely. When the dialogue gets going it feels a little bare, but I suppose that's normal! (Just different than what I've grown used to.) Still, it flows so perfectly I'm on the edge of my seat.

With your use of commas, I'd like to point out the Oxford comma. I really can't help it. I'm an editor at heart. There are a few minor errors in terms of things that should be presented a certain way since this is a story, but nothing major.

Loving this very much. I'm excited to know more about your characters, and who said "Where to begin?". That was a very interesting way to end a chapter. Happy to subscribe to this! x

Starting off, I love the simplicity of the layout. It's so pretty and clean. The summary immediately drew me in, what sort of path did leave her ancestors astray? Is what I was asking myself.

"He muscled body leaned against the door frame" should be his. "Why she had been so instant" I think it should be insistent.

Besides those two it was pretty good. I am loving the plot so far. I especially love that it was set in Louisiana! Usually stories set there are pretty, besides there's a lot of cool lore to go off of! Anyway, I am subscribing because I have to know what happens next.

I love the character Venetia. She sounds so unique, wise, and fun. Not to mention a little bit mischievous. Keep up the good work!

I didn't know if I would enjoy this, but I actually did. There is something extremely creative about this plot line, and the reader wants to read more by the very end. I think Braxton is an interesting character. I look forward to seeing what you do with this!

Well, there isn't much of a story for me to comment on for your treat but I'm going to subscribe and come back when you have something up and comment then, if that's okay with you. :)