Regret - Comments

Here judging the round two entries for Sixth Time's the Charm!

I was actually really interested to see how you incorporated these lyrics as the song is one of my personal favourites and I really like how you went about it! The idea of having a secret that you can't divulge to anyone is one that I think everyone has experienced before so it's really something that pulled me right into the story as I've been in a similar position (not pregnant of course, just in possession of a secret that would potentially embarrass myself and a lot of people if it was let out) so I did have that connection to the narrator right away. I felt so heartbroken for her when I realised that Grergory was gone and she was carrying his child. I think the ending was really sweet, but terribly melancholy at the same time. I like that she realises she needs to be strong, but she still misses Gregory awfully.

Honestly, I didn't expect you to take the lyrics and interpret them in this way. The song itself is about having an affair and I didn't expect to come and read something so heart-wrenching, but still so true to the lyrics. Amazing job!

Why Do I Love You? Contest
This story was better than the previous story I read: Words. It held a lot of depth into it and I applaud you for that.

The first few paragraphs were very confusing. I had to re-read it several times just to understand what you were talking about. I only had to find out later on that she was pregnant with his child. Sometimes it’s nice to withhold information from the reader for him/her to continue reading it. Other times, it’s not such a good idea because the reader would probably give up on the story and find a new one.

Excitement and realization finally dawned on me when I read the latter part of your story. It was a very smart idea to drop the bomb to your reader after a few paragraphs. I was surprised, no doubt, and it was actually relieving to finally know what the problem was because I found myself getting nowhere until I stumbled on the latter part of the story.

Although short, your story was actually very good yet a little unstructured, to be honest. It was a little confusing for readers in the beginning but it slowly progressed into a meaningful story later on and readers will appreciate that.

First things first, the layout of this was beautifully done and immediately caught my eye, so great job on that. Now to the story itself, beautifully composed and written in small sentences that emphasize the point, which is one of my favorite things. I love how realistic this story feels to me, when I read it I feel the emotions of the girl and it really makes me face the truth that life isn’t always this perfect world that many writers portray. Normally, I wouldn’t like not knowing how the other person died, but in this story I didn’t care a bit because it would take away from the rhythm you got into. The only bad thing that I can think to comment would be that towards the end of the story when you begin to talk about the man’s death, it seems a bit rushed, but overall the story has an excellent flow.

I love the layout and inspiration for the story. They fit very well.

In the opening paragraph you should change "out of" and "out" to "off of". You might change "which" to "in which" Maybe change the second which to "When". You may change the sentence beginning with "And".

I think you mean "at another place" not "to another place". You might change "had to" to "needed to".

You should change "choose" to "chose", "were" to "was", and take out "to" in the question "What should I tell…".

I related well to this drabble, regretting things said or done or not said or done in the past. I also related well to "holding back" so someone else can "live" better/have a better life so to say.

This story was really sad, I think you did a good job at describing the feeling of regret.

Halloween Comment! It's late. Sorry.

This was so upsetting. She feels such guilt for not telling Gregory about the baby, but I feel like she was doing such a selfless thing by trying to let him get his education and such without 'ruining his life' with the news of a baby.

I cried. I fucking cried. But thank you so much. This was so powerful - it moved me in a way I hadn't been moved ever before. It inspired me to .. be there for someone, and not much gives me that feeling. Best drabble I have ever read, for sure. I was sitting down like, "I wish this would continue," & then I saw the sequel was up.. :)

Whoa, that was heartwrenching!!! (in a good way, you're a great writer)

Noo, this was such a sad read. I could really feel where she was coming from with her reasons for doing what she did. It's just such a tragedy what happened and now you can only wonder about the what ifs. But this was written very nicely and the flow really brought me into her mindset. Definitely brought a tear to my eye.

But I like the layout you used. Simple, easy on the eyes, and sets up the mood for what the reader is about to read.

:] This is nice work though, so keep it up!

So, I like the layout! The picture is totally fitting to the story.

I was a little confused to begin with, to be honest. But then I realized what was happening. It was a very emotional piece and I like emotional things! It was simple but very powerful! So great job!

Why r u doing this 2 me. The feels right now r too real. I'm crying.