November 21st, 2013 at 12:04am
Okay, first of all, I love the names in this. They're perfect for the theme you have going.
Secondly, I would just like to give you kudos for the first paragraph. It is not at all easy to balance using repetition and not sounding like you're a broken record. You pulled it off stunningly, the repeated usage of "Rock and roll" made everything flow beautifully.
The layout is simple and uncluttered, so kudos for that.
I'm going to be honest. This piece frustrated me a bit. I think you got the general voice of Zeppelin and his feelings across very well. I can clearly understand that he's a loner, and that even though he comes off very tough and uncaring, he has a bit of vulnerability that he's hiding by pushing everyone away. The reason why this frustrated me is that although it's written extremely well, I don't think you met the contest requirements exactly. Yes, you incorporated a pair of shoes but it didn't match the picture that you had chosen and you changed it just a bit too much.
I noticed one or two grammar/spelling errors, but nothing huge.
Still, I enjoyed reading this. Good job. Thanks for entering!