XY Revolution - Comments

You really know how to make the XY supporting men in this just absolute dicks. I wish Freya could do all those things she wanted to do to that guard I mean, who calls a person "that"?!?!
"seems like he could behead someone and then eat a sandwich" On a more serious note, I feel like you're really conveying this man well.
Yay for Freya thinking on her feet and doing her job well
I'm anxious to see how dinner goes, and the rest of their mission, so please update soon!

Gosh, I was just nervous the whole time reading this, feeling as though anything could go wrong. You've built up the anticipation well.
"The man’s name-tag reads Greg." Just the way this is stated so simply makes it so hilarious! You know I love how you slip these moments in
And then you go from fun conversation to haunting descriptions of people in LA and how crap Freya is treated and jeez.... You just make me have so many feels with this story.
Keen to see how the heck she's going to snipe all of the guards!
Gosh, I could see them all exiting their room, walking down the hallway, and stepping into the elevator so clearly, like it's from a movie. And it has left me so excited yet nervous to find out what happens next and how this meeting goes! I really hope you update soon!

Owwww shi is gettinv serious oolalaaa:))) great update <3

Greattttrr updateeee:)))) i feel that travis got alittle jealous :)))) love itttt

I like how you've added in some light dialogue amongst all of this serious mission business. Phil should have been able to fight her off, Travis' first weeks... And then you very effectively went serious again. Jeez. Talented much? I almost got goosebumps like Freya reading that.
Agent Belmont, damn right
So excited to get this mission started! I just know she's gonna kick some ass!

just started reading, so excited!

Great update <3

The resistance is trying to kill her with sleep deprivation
I didn't really narrate my thoughts this time because I was so engrossed with her mission. I'm really looking forward to how it all plays out!

I really like that she's not emotionless but can still do what it takes to survive. A lot of characters I find in survival situations will be numb to everything aside from their destined romance or something, but because Freya isn't like that, she's more real. I just really like Freya and how you're writing her, great job
So glad she's gonna spend so much time with Travis!
Well I hope she keeps some of her sarcasm, because I enjoy it and I'm sure others do too.
Fair enough that with the stress her temper is a lot shorter. I hope Phil forgives her and all, he's so nice. But then again, one on one with Travis, even more reason for me to ship them
Aw no Then you go and write a scene like that! Don't leave it there! Update now!

Wow i feel bad for phil:( awesome updafe :*

I'm glad you had the scene with her talking to her sister. Even though I'm super keen for all of the action and fighting and training, that moment made it hit home how difficult it must be for Freya and her family. I really hope no one goes after her family either. That would be awful.
Update soon!

Ok, Freya and Travis need to get together They are so cute together in my mind as he's testing her abilities
Ah, more playful banter over a meal. Love it
Well, I just might have to ship everyone with Travis now
I love how you're testing my French (Well it's obviously not for that purpose, but I'm pretending it is, so shush )
Well I'm glad she's great at shooting, and perhaps not so much at the combat so she can spend more time with Travis (), but I'm thinking she's probably going to be working with guns a lot and possibly even become a sniper? Can't wait to find out! More soon please! I adore this story!

Oh jeez, four hours of sleep? I wouldn't be able to do that Poor girl!
How anyone can be so happy before seven o’clock is astonishing. - Amen. It's little comic relief lines like these snuck in your writing that I love.
I like what you're doing with the period thing, without sounding weird. It's just logical that that would be such a pain in the ass when on missions, so it's cool that that should be solved for her.
I do wonder where the anaemic thing is going though
I think I'm starting to ship Freya and Travis
100% looking forward to her training! Update soon!

All I really have to say is that damn I can't wait to see how all of those things will go for her tomorrow. I know she's tough so I'm certain she'll get through it, but surely it'll be a bit of a struggle. I'm still getting a good vibe from Travis, but I'm uncertain about Phil for now I guess I'll have to wait and see what paths they all go down. Update soon!

I feel like that tracker tattoo is going to have to go, or else it could be a big problem
Argh, being reminded of those awful things that happened to her just makes me feel sick. It makes me even more supportive of her to fight back and set things the way they should be for the women.
Time for action?!?! Way to get me even more excited about this story!

I am so loving this story! I love every single bit of it! Well except Josh dying. I was thinking that he and Freya would run off together at first, but I actually like the 'no man around' thing. I mean I have seen several revolution stories where its always been 'Lulu has to choose between enforcing the revolution or heading down true love lane!' So this is a refreshing twist.
I so hate Nate though, he was such a freaking jerk! Love how Freya got her revenge though!
I am so happy that instead of being abusive and totally sexist, her dad supports her!
Ooh I just love this story! You're writing skills are spectacular! You portray the opinions and feelings so well. You don't just jump around and make people get over traumatic events quickly, like some people tend to do.
I really really hope, Freya's family isn't killed though. I will seriously cry if they do get killed.

Ooh a dude in the resistance. I wasn't actually expecting that, but that's good that I can't predict anything!

That is so cool what they did with the helicopter. Makes sense and is awesome, like in the movies Same for the lift. It's just awesome to see all the cool spy tech, which also helps convey their power (in my opinion, anyway).
So this was a really cool chapter. She's at the base and is about to begin training, which will no doubt be an interesting ride. I'm looking forward to see what skills she will be taught and how well she picks them up, as well as other characters you'll introduce. Great description on Naomi, by the way - I could image her perfectly. Anyways, update soon! This is such a wonderful story!!

Ooooh new layout
How he says he hasn't killed with those scissors for a while was hilarious Kevin seems just lovely
Totally understood all of that French I'm so proud of myself I guess that was the song that you were working on for a while huh?
Argh, you write urgency so well. I was getting wound up as she's running with Derek!
So I seriously need to read more of this. I'm so hooked and I can't wait to see what you have come up with for the next chapter. Please update soon!!! (And of course, congrats again for winning Nano )

I like Travis. I hope we get to see a lot of him - he seems like he's got a lot going on and will be a good character I have no idea why they're taking her to a prison to do that - is it a test or is she a distraction? I guess you'll have to hurry up and update, because I'm dying to read more of this awesome story!

I liked seeing her interact with her family and say goodbye. I kinda figured she was sort of outsider in her family because of her actions and views, but it was nice to see that she was giving up a big part of her life to go to the resistance. She's becoming a better character every chapter
I also liked seeing her pull her dad aside and reassure herself that it was the right thing to do. It made the situation, and Freya's character, just that little bit more real to me.
No. You can't leave it there. You need to update this immediately. That is too much of a cliffhanger!