Smile Behind a Bookshelf - Comments

What really intrigued me about this was the word count. I've never seen a story that was 18 words evem though I've been wanting to write something similar. It can't be easy to use such a limited number of words and still make an impact but I think you did well overall. Its all about reading between the lines

Thanks for entering my contest, and thanks for submitting your entry on the first day that the contest hosted.

I want to start off by saying that I really liked the title. I thought the title was really nice, and it made me smile, and it was bright, it was inviting and captivating. It was a little bit of a teasing feeling and kind of like a game, being behind a bookshelf. I really like that. My favorite chapter was the first one, and I thought you integrated the word bookshelf wonderfully into the story. I thought you made that the focus of the story and I did like that.

Also, in saying that, I felt that faith wasn't represented as much as I hoping it would be. I thought that you took Faith as a word, rather than the overall theme of the story, so that kind of took away from the power it could have had. Also, the diction, while it was good, I thought it could have been great, had you just tried to pack a little more punch into it. It lacked a little command and power to me.

Overall, I think that you created a really cute, sweet and awesome story. I liked it a lot, I thought it was really nicely written and it was well done. I was pleased.