Frailty - Comments

CHAPTER 2.
It was nice to have a little chapter dedicated to Emily and her family. The main character's backstories are seriously lacking on this website and it's nice to see that someone actually takes the time to work on it, considering the main character is usually who they are because of their family. The way the third chapter opened with Emily trying to get into contact with her mother and had to speak to her answering machine just about broke my heart because I get the sense that her mother doesn't really try and involve herself much in her daughter's life.
The line that Lori said to Emily about being the only teenage girl who doesn't enjoy shopping made me because it totally reminded me of that age and how much I basically lived in sweats and hoodies and loathed dresses for the same reason. I adore Emily and can totally relate to her. Even her insecurities remind me of myself! Girl needs to get out of her head, for sure (and then into Brian's pants. )

CHAPTER 3.
Aw, Uncle Mike is a total BAMF. I love him already and the little banter he has with Emily, coupled with how worried he is over whether or not she's getting enough sleep. AND HE CALLED HER PEANUT. Is that a Dead Like Me reference? Because I totally feel like it is.
Emily and Brian banter, yay! I like those two together already, even though they're not a couple yet. Plus the comments he makes about her being the only one to get him to do things he wouldn't normally do have more aw'ing all over the place. HE IS SO INTO HER.
Omg the wedgie comment made me laugh out loud, for real. I can so imagine Brian doing that to his brother in real life.
I loved the idea of the group being their own little church and deciding to confess their sins to one another. I only wish it had have gone on a little longer and had time to include everyone in it before shit got real between Emily and Mattie. Overall it was a nice little group situation again, but I only wish it had have ended with Emily's thoughts at the end of the chapter and the way that she felt about Brian defending. The little convo about basketball was funny but it felt like the chapter ended a little too abruptly, as if there should have been a little more to do with Emily since the chapter's usually begin and end with her.

CHAPTER 4.
Oh no, oh no! I sense some trouble here with Emily! :( I like how you mentioned her having a problem with eating in the second chapter and now coming back to it in this one. The whole plot doesn't feel rushed that way when you're feeding us little bits of information about Emily's possible eating disorder.
Oh my heart just about sank when Cassie was questioning Emily about the dress and she was getting all uncomfortable. I was just about cringing the whole time. And even though the dress is very pretty, it doesn't look like the kind you'd wear to school - more of a formal occasion wear thing. So I totally get why Emily didn't want to wear it in the first place.
Okay, seriously, the whole thing with the trend of burning holes in the knees of the jeans had me lol'ing.
Oh that Tabitha... she definitely is a she-bitch.
I JUST WANT TO GIVE EMILY A BIG, BIG HUG. My heart was breaking for her by the end of the chapter when she felt like everyone was staring and had to put on Brian's hoodie to feel more comfortable. Plus the fact that she finds his scent comforting is all kinds of adorable.

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Okay, that's it for now. But I'll comment again once I get a chance to read the rest of the chapters. :)

Please continue this!!! I've been loving this story so far

I always LOVED this chapter! So much! Brian is such a pissy pants! And the guys are so like gossipy girls when they are trying to get something out of their friends.
I just love this whole dynamic between all of them.

I LOVED IT <3

I didn't even realize this was an A7X story until halfway through the first chapter

I've only read the first chapter at the moment, but I think it was a great way to start the story. There were quite a few characters introduced which got a bit overwhelming, but I think you chose a smart way to introduce them so I was still able to have an idea of what was going on and who was with who and what not. I also think the chapter flowed really well and it was paced well; meaning the story was progressing well but wasn’t going too fast that I was lost.

Overall, I think this started off really great and I look forward to seeing where it goes!

Layout/Summary:
I love the way the layout looks, especially the banner. Everything is absolutely gorgeous and simple, which I enjoy, as it doesn't take away from the story itself.
I do enjoy the summary, though I wish it gave a little more, but I love how you put the warning at the bottom. It's good to warn your readers about things that could make them upset (if that makes sense).

Chapter One:
While there were a lot of characters introduced in this chapter, I really like how you went about doing the actual introductions. The only thing I had a problem with was the absolute abundance of information. In a few places it was kind of overwhelming to read and I had to go back up a few paragraphs to start again and make sure I read everything correctly and got all the information.

The story flows so well and I'm in love with the way you write. I didn't see any errors in terms of grammar or spelling, which I liked a lot.

I wish you the best of luck with this story!

Summary I really like it!

Chapter One It's a great start. You gave us a large overview of many different characters without giving us too much at the same time. It's a really long chapter and if you'd added anymore information I think it might have been too much. And as some people struggle with too many characters, I think you did just fine. Not one person was monopolizing the conversation, the banter was quite funny, and we kind of get a feel of just where every sits on the social ladder, or at least a start of one.

I have a feeling there will be lots of twists and turns in this. I won't be reading more to find out as it's not my type of story, but I wish you all the luck. Keep up the good work

Oh teenage drama!! How happy I am to no longer be that age?? :D

I loved this chapter!! Even if I wanted to just slap Brian silly and make him realise that he is the reason Emily looks awful!! I mean really, it's not rocket science!! Ever since he decided to start avoiding her, she started to look a bit rubbish around the edges. Come on now Brian, do the maths!! And poor Emily :( though I also kind of want her to just be like "look...Brian...what the frickle freckle?"

I can't wait for more!! Though I shall...patiently and with wide unblinking eyes as I stare at my laptop :D x

Oh poor Emily! Brian is such a dumbass. I just want to smack him upaide his stupid bead. I really hope he pulls hisbbeaf out of his ass soon.

Loved the update dear!

oh boy, almost! it was such a cute moment that could have ended so well.

in my opinion, she shouldn't have to apologize though. pulling away was just a natural reaction to the noise, as well as knowing that her aunt and uncle just got home. so come on brian, don't get all weird. it's not her fault, since you were just as capable of making the move yourself! (as everyone else is saying as well)

Oh holy crap!! What the hell?? So close!! So very close!! And I agree with Kate *looksdown* that boy should have grown a pair and just closed that gap, front door opening be damned!! I don't know about you but do you know what this is called?? Silliness...just silliness :P

I did LOVE the update though. I do love this story. Brilliantly written, as always!! And I can't wait for more :) x

BRIAN GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ARSE.

darn you I double posted

MIKE AND LORI ARE MY FAVORITE! Uncle Mike, making all those innuendos like a boss.
And Emily and Brian are two of my favorites. They're interactions are always the best!
OHHH AND THEY ALMOST KISSED OH DAMN!
I absolutely loved it. LOVED THIS CHAPTER! I can't wait to read more! <3

You already know this, but:

FUCK YOU BRIAN STOP BEING SO OBLIVIOUS!

(Oh wait. That might be a spoiler).

YASSS YAS YAS YAS
I loved this update!! I just love this story!
I think Brian and Emily are my all time favorite, I just love their friendship and everything. JUST YAAAAS!!!
<3333

Oh how I adore this story! So very good. And I agree with everyone else, you always do have some kick ass dialogue. I'd also like to punch that Tabitha bitch right in the throat, just sayin.

Loved it dear! :)

Such a well written story! I love it so far, I'm excited to see where it is going. The interaction between everyone is addictive to read, and I like the set up of Brian and Emily's friendship. xx

The way you write with all of them together talking and having fun really creates a clear picture in my head. It's flows together so well, as always with your writing! I am excited for this! As always with your writing, you are one of my favourites. Reading this gives me the urge and inspiration to keep writing! I am looking forward to see where this goes and I know it's going to be amazing! :D can't wait for more!

I have a particular jealousy of the way you write dialogue and group scenes. It always sounds so natural and effortless. UGH. You're freaking awesome!

I don't have a lot to say to this point because I'm still testing the waters. I'm pretty intrigued with what's going on in Emily's head, you kind of had me going back and forth between believing she's hiding something and thinking she's NOT hiding anything but she will later on or I don't even know. I'm so happily confused and so excited to find out! This kind of thing feeds my hunger.

Brian, though. Just how smitten are you, dude? Seriously, give him heart eyes and he's set. Their relationship is so cute I wanna roll in it and giggle. I can't wait for more moments with the two of them (as well as the group moments because d i a l o g u e. Ugh.)

I can't wait to read more. Your stories are always amazing and make me so happy, I know this one will be the same. SO EXCITED.

TAKE ME TO CHURCH!
I love this chapter, so much. I loved it when you first wrote it and I love it now. I always enjoy when you write big group scenes, you're so good at them. :)