Pleasure - Comments

Finally here to judge The Modern Love song Contest.

Thought the layout was a bit busy, but I appreciated that made a picture to go with it.

Well, let me just start with the smexy goodness. There is just something about reading sex in first person, that I just don't like. Feels too intimate or something, I'm not sure. It's purely a personal preference though. Even still, this was exceptionally written and kinky without being vulgar. And I still felt the emotion between the characters, something I normally find lacking with sex scenes. I can see the correlation between the story and the song, but thought it could have been integrated better.

I didn't notice any grammar/spelling errors, so good job on that.

All in all, I really enjoyed this. Thanks for entering!

That was HOT!!! But you already know that because that was the point. Anyways, I really liked the descriptions which were detailed enough and made me want to keep reading more. You keep leaving me amazed, don't you? :]

I love your inspiration for this story as well as the picture. They're both very fitting. :) I've already mentioned this before in another comment but I just love your character's relationships. This one seems so pure and loving. I really like this line "even though her body had been awake for some time, her mind was still sleeping".

The grammar and wording looks mostly good from what I can tell. I would change "come" to "came" in the eighth paragraph. You might consider changing the phrase "hold me skin to skin". It read awkwardly to me.
I think this would read better if you just put "mine" rather than "my icy blue ones". I do like the description though.

I loved this line ‘’Rogue, this is me, wanting you, needing you. You have my body, my heart, and if I still have a soul, that too. I am only yours,"

I like the ending sentence.

Good job on this.

AJM1:

I LOVE your short story 'She's My Only Pleasure'. I don't often find myself reading hetro, but I can easily look past that in this story. I love the flow of your words and the love that is obvious between Rogue and her man. Excellent job

Awww I loved it. Short, but simple and sweet. I hope you do another one like this soon.

That, my dear, was HAWT! :

That, my dear, was HAWT. :

It's amazing! I love it