Pleasure - Comments

  • a walking travesty;

    a walking travesty; (100)

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    Finally here to judge The Modern Love song Contest.

    Thought the layout was a bit busy, but I appreciated that made a picture to go with it.

    Well, let me just start with the smexy goodness. There is just something about reading sex in first person, that I just don't like. Feels too intimate or something, I'm not sure. It's purely a personal preference though. Even still, this was exceptionally written and kinky without being vulgar. And I still felt the emotion between the characters, something I normally find lacking with sex scenes. I can see the correlation between the story and the song, but thought it could have been integrated better.

    I didn't notice any grammar/spelling errors, so good job on that.

    All in all, I really enjoyed this. Thanks for entering!
    January 23rd, 2014 at 04:55am
  • DevilboyKyle

    DevilboyKyle (100)

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    That was HOT!!! But you already know that because that was the point. Anyways, I really liked the descriptions which were detailed enough and made me want to keep reading more. You keep leaving me amazed, don't you? :]
    December 5th, 2013 at 11:09pm
  • DarkestStorm

    DarkestStorm (335)

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    I love your inspiration for this story as well as the picture. They're both very fitting. :) I've already mentioned this before in another comment but I just love your character's relationships. This one seems so pure and loving. I really like this line "even though her body had been awake for some time, her mind was still sleeping".

    The grammar and wording looks mostly good from what I can tell. I would change "come" to "came" in the eighth paragraph. You might consider changing the phrase "hold me skin to skin". It read awkwardly to me.
    I think this would read better if you just put "mine" rather than "my icy blue ones". I do like the description though.

    I loved this line ‘’Rogue, this is me, wanting you, needing you. You have my body, my heart, and if I still have a soul, that too. I am only yours,"

    I like the ending sentence.

    Good job on this.
    November 22nd, 2013 at 08:48pm
  • Lady.V.

    Lady.V. (960)

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    AJM1:
    I LOVE your short story 'She's My Only Pleasure'. I don't often find myself reading hetro, but I can easily look past that in this story. I love the flow of your words and the love that is obvious between Rogue and her man. Excellent job
    November 21st, 2013 at 09:33am
  • DarkHeartedAngel

    DarkHeartedAngel (100)

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    Awww I loved it. Short, but simple and sweet. I hope you do another one like this soon.
    November 21st, 2013 at 04:45am
  • TheReverend'sProdigy

    TheReverend'sProdigy (100)

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    That, my dear, was HAWT! Swoon:
    November 20th, 2013 at 02:28am
  • TheReverend'sProdigy

    TheReverend'sProdigy (100)

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    That, my dear, was HAWT. Swoon:
    November 20th, 2013 at 02:27am
  • ImpulsiveWords

    ImpulsiveWords (100)

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    It's amazing! I love it
    November 20th, 2013 at 01:55am