War of the Gods - Comments

I love this story, I can't wait to see what happens next! Keep up the amazing work and update it again soon!

@ thehoodedgirl
I'm glad that you enjoyed it.

This story has great potential. I like how it starts off. Some of the sentences are unnecessary short though. You don't have to describe every little detail. But overall it's really good. Keep it up. Subscribed :)

If you want to comment swap on my story Sanctuary, it would be most appreciated :)

@ Zacky Vengeance;
Well I'm glad that enjoy. Thank you for the advice.

I really think this does have great potential- you're descriptive without going super overboard and you manage to paint a very clear picture in the mind of the reader. What's quite unique about this narrative is the first person present tense thing you've got going on here, which is adventurous. I know I've gotten confused between tenses when I used this one, but you execute it really well- so kudos to you!

Just one piece of constructive criticism, and the last thing I want to do is offend you here, but I noticed a lot of 'I do this' and 'I do that' in there. It doesn't affect how the chapter reads at all, it's just something that sprang out at me while I was reading through this.

Also- love the name Isadora!

I love the incorporation of Greek Gods as well, that's really cool! I always admire people who can write things that involve Gods and supernatural beings- and you do it so well!

@ Goddess_Of_Mischief
Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I was just putting her family into perspective sorta, I guess.

This story really does have promise, I think :) The subject is something that I'm very intrigued by, and so far it's well-written with an established plot and characters. It really surprised me when the man in the temples turned out to be the God of War, and I'm really curious as to what's going to happen with him. And the marriage too - will she go through with it? Won't she?

I do have a little constructive critisism, but I don't mean it in a nasty way, so please don't take offense, ehehe :P The only tiny thing that I thought was a little unnecessary was the very detailed description of her siblings towards the end of the chapter. It was like you were giving me blocks of facts about them that were seemingly irrelevant (of course, I might be wrong, so please don't take offense :P ). Maybe you could have presented them in a more interesting way. It's just my opinion of course, don't feel like you have to change your story because of me :P

But that didn't affect the overall quality of the chapter much at all! I'm definitely hooked. You clearly know how to write an amazing first chapter!

@ XXXataktoulaXXX
Well, I'm glad that you like it. I was having a hard time choosing the color on the title. I just put that as a place holder until I could actually decide on one that would fit better. Your help on this piece means the world to me, so why would I not mention you when you helped me with this?

Here I am sweets to take the virginity of this story.

Layout:
I like how this is simple and the banner seems really interesting. It's very fiting if I might say. The only thing you could change if you wanted to as a suggestion is the color of the story's title. I'm sure that if it was a deep/strong color, it would look better. I know not many colors fit on that banner cause of the black and white style it has, but a deep color would work.

Summary:
We can pretty much tell from the summary that this is gonna be interesting, especially for readers who like stories with gods. Luckily I'm one of them, so I think I'll keep up with reviewing every single chapter of this as you write.

I only hope to see the main character being determined.

Your idea of writing the chapters in numbers written in Greek is totally cool and of course it fits perfectly with the theme of the story.

Chapter one:
You are writing this in present tense, and its working to your advantage as far as the first chapter. Keep it up with that.

I like how you are very detailed with your writing while drawing images to the reader's mind without making the story look boring.

I like the way she thinks of her feelings for Alexandros. She isn't really honest with him, but she stilll knows the situation. Good going you have here. That's totally realistic, since I've been there myself (without getting married of course).

Now I'm wondering, what kind of job that is...Seeing as they are a married couple, she should have known. I hate secrets even between just simple relationships.

Oh, so he is protecting her from something? That I can totally understand. That was a nice way to switch things around. He looked bad and then in the next paragraph there's a good reason for that. Well done girl!

That’s something my mother has always taught me. You have to know who to pray to and what you should pray for. She says that not knowing what you need is a little foolish. It shows more when you know that you just need some help to what than not knowing. I have always accepted this as truth, and I’m happy for it.
I love this part.

This is the party where we are telling everyone about the engagement. I still think that it is too soon to tell everyone about it, but then again I just want to delay this. I’m still not sure about this. Why did I say ‘yes’ to him again?
I guess I would have second thoughts myself if I was in her shoes.

I like how you explained why she dislikes alcohol and she's mostly on just water.

Her prayer was nice as well as how the man showed up and told her where she should go to pray for that kind of thing.

I actually can’t believe that he has the audacity to tell me who I should pray to. I honestly think that it is none of his business.
Nice going you got there. I like her attitude towards the unknown man.

The whole conversation and how you described the scene made me very much interested to the man who claims to be the God of War, and her father.

“Pray to me when you want answers,” he calls out to me.
I don't know why but that sentence spoke to me in a weird but good way. Totally liked it.

I liked how she thought of her familly and the question that arose thanks to the man she met at the temple.

You've got this under control and it seems its well planned-out, well-written and your characters show as pretty interesting.

Thanks for mentioning me at the end of the chapter; you really didn't have to sweets. I'm more than happy to help you with this piece.

~Marian.