July 12th, 2017 at 08:58am
Thank you for entering my contest! :)
I think that this story is quite awesome! I almost forgot that I was judging it and that was a nice quality that it had. I think where you excelled the most was the connection between Patrick and Mack. I thought you made their connection: fun, teasing, adorable, and the list goes on. I felt as though they were real, and I felt as though they really captured relateable people. I think the story line you came up with is just wonderful, and I think you did it justice. I liked how you added in his sisters, and made them know each other from kids.
I wish that the ending had seemed to be a little less rushed than it was. I also wish that the font color was not so similar to the background color. I thought had the font been easier to read, I would have enjoyed the story much, much more than I did, and let me tell you, I enjoyed it a whole lot!
I really was pleased with this entry!
Prior to reading this story I was pretty pleased to see the song you chose, since it's one of my faves and I couldn't help but look forward to what was to come.
Aw, I really enjoyed this! It was such a cute read. I loved the way you built up Mack and Pat's relationship, from the memories of childhood bickering and annoyance to that flirty, I grew up in all the right places and only now you're noticing me. It's a trope used many times, but to me, it's an enjoyable one. I really enjoyed the pacing and the way this was written, it made for an easy read but still able to keep the reader interested. One thing I didn't like was how it was a bit rushed at the end but otherwise I really enjoyed it. Thanks for entering!