Um, I'm not quite sure about this story. It's beyond obsessive, like the constant thoughts in the story sort of worry me a little. Your speech needs to be spaced, it is hard to read a cramped paragraph, there isn't any description of anything and there are too many time lapses.
It's beyond obsessive, like the constant thoughts in the story sort of worry me a little. Your speech needs to be spaced, it is hard to read a cramped paragraph, there isn't any description of anything and there are too many time lapses.