So,, some feedback, if any of this seems harsh its because I want to help you.
I am going to start by saying, I am not a Pokemon fan, so no feedback will be given on character development etc. The layout was a little confusing, i got it eventually, but it was set out like a play setting with the name and then their speech, i think you should make that more obvious because otherwise it can grow confusing - and relatively tiring. Also, the 'End of thcapter one' wasn't needed, the ability to switch to the next chapter or the chapter ending was enough of a give waway :P but that was a minor flaw.
Other than those two little things, I think it's a very well written piece and it has room for develppment, Pokemon fans may enjoy it more, and I am aware there are many of those so that's good to know youb have a target audience. Thats a good thing to have. It's very specific, which again is good. I do like it and I think you have a very good writing style, great spelling and correct grammar and syntax - which can be surprisingly hard to find even on a creative writing site.
You seem well educated, and I'd take a guess at currently you're studying for A Levels, which would be obvious in this piece. i think you have real potential and if you were to expand your work onto somethign such as, Original fiction, i'd certainyl be happy to give you more reads if you were to link me up to it. :)
I hope that was useful to you, at least somewhat anyway.
I am going to start by saying, I am not a Pokemon fan, so no feedback will be given on character development etc. The layout was a little confusing, i got it eventually, but it was set out like a play setting with the name and then their speech, i think you should make that more obvious because otherwise it can grow confusing - and relatively tiring. Also, the 'End of thcapter one' wasn't needed, the ability to switch to the next chapter or the chapter ending was enough of a give waway :P but that was a minor flaw.
Other than those two little things, I think it's a very well written piece and it has room for develppment, Pokemon fans may enjoy it more, and I am aware there are many of those so that's good to know youb have a target audience. Thats a good thing to have. It's very specific, which again is good. I do like it and I think you have a very good writing style, great spelling and correct grammar and syntax - which can be surprisingly hard to find even on a creative writing site.
You seem well educated, and I'd take a guess at currently you're studying for A Levels, which would be obvious in this piece. i think you have real potential and if you were to expand your work onto somethign such as, Original fiction, i'd certainyl be happy to give you more reads if you were to link me up to it. :)
I hope that was useful to you, at least somewhat anyway.