Kansas Rhodes - Comments

  • Rachel-Marie

    Rachel-Marie (205)

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    I am in love with this story so far. She doesn't deal with things as one would typically handle a situation and that will make for a really interesting story. I'm excited for you to write more, your writing is great!
    January 16th, 2014 at 03:11pm
  • piercethecharlie

    piercethecharlie (100)

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    The layout to this is absolutely stunning. The summary really caught my eye, which as the comment below me said it instantly pulled me in.

    The first thing I did notice was the main character is oblivious as such to emotion. It's as if she's unable to cope with emotion per say. Now that's a good thing, it gives the character more mystery and it gives your readers an insight as such into her mind and life.

    I could repeat myself a million times right now, but you have the detail down to a point. You've managed to mix in the main characters thoughts and feelings which I find is an important thing to do. I like the concept of this and you've gone for a different approach to coping with a tragic accident which makes me want to read more because it's different and unique.

    I'm sorry if I've repeated myself in this, I tried to cover as much as possible for my feedback. Once again, you've got yourself a new subscriber but I would love to continue reading this and watching her story unfold.

    Keep up the fantastic work.
    January 11th, 2014 at 02:14am
  • Jordypye

    Jordypye (1400)

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    First off, the summary is really eye-catching and it instantly pulled me in.
    So far you only have one chapter but I can already tell how amazing this story is going to be. I love the fact that the main character can't read emotion and isn't able to respond appropriately to emotional situations because it adds depth to the character.
    I love the idea of something tragic happening and instead of the usual, going to the funerals, crying, emotional trauma you have them going on a road trip, that's so uncommon and unique, I love it.
    I can't what to read more!
    December 13th, 2013 at 02:09am
  • Formaldehyde.

    Formaldehyde. (150)

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    @ My Eternal Trivium
    Thank you! I'm so glad you like it so far. :)
    December 13th, 2013 at 01:16am
  • My Eternal Trivium

    My Eternal Trivium (100)

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    Excellent as always :) I especially love how you explain earlier events just as you describe it; which is all-consuming, and the thing that was at the forefront of the protagonist's mind as her thoughts began to drift. Then when she snapped back to the present, you could really feel the jerk of it. Great stuff.

    I have nothing to add in terms of mistakes. You did great. Keep it up!
    December 12th, 2013 at 11:23pm