Sparks in the Night - Comments

I’m here to judge for ‘Christmas Fan-Fiction Contest’. (In the middle of summer, yes.)

I’m not religious in any sense of the word, so I’m definitely not Jewish but I really connected with Autum’s struggle with the holiday in any variation. The fact that she more so associated stress and depression with a typically and supposed cheerful holiday resonated a lot with me, so it made it easy for me to understand why she didn’t know what to do with an even tiny piece of normalcy. I understood why she felt lost and hesitant, but I appreciated how James made Hanukkah feel familiar and like home to her, too.

I also really loved the very beginning, that nostalgic vibe she felt from seeing actual snow. In that moment that you described it stemming from all those Christmas movies growing up, I knew immediately what Autum was feeling. And I like how you used a photo book to introduce James as a character on a whole, but it was so sweet that he got a tree and asked Autum to help him decorate it. The little hot cocoa tradition was endearing. Their entire dynamic was fluid and so natural.

Your writing style is simple but in a really good way. You maintained an easy flow the entire way through and I had an easy grasp on the characters and their relationship together. Despite not knowing every single detail of their backstory, I felt like I had been reading about them for years with their comfort in each other and love for each other.

There was one teeny spelling error that did stand out kind of painfully since it was the only one that I really saw: […] a normal Christmas, a birthday that held no guilt, times when things actually felt whole instead of always felling like they were on the verge of falling apart. – Should definitely be ‘feeling’ instead of ‘felling’.

All in all, I definitely thought that was a well-written and emotional story with a very cute holiday atmosphere!

Hey there~ I'm here as a judge for the Magazine's Winter Wonders contest.

I was really happy to see that this story featured Hanukkah in because you are right, there's a lack of holiday stories on Mibba featuring the holiday. So it was really nice to read something that focused on a winter holiday other than Christmas, a change of pace is always appreciated. And it taught me something new about Hanukkah as well~ OvO

Your story was very good. Your descriptions were well thought out and gave the reader a good image. The story was so sweet as well, it's one of those holiday stories that it just so sweet that it can leave you with a warm feeling after reading it. The characters were very relatable and it was pretty easy to feel the love between Autum and James. They were so cute and adorable, I loved it~

The way you stretched the prompt is fine actually, it shows more creativity since you were able to think so deeply about the prompt and take it in a less straightforward way than most people would have. You still followed it very well, you just incorporated it into the story in an unexpected way.

The story was very beautifully written, you've got quite a nice style to your writing. Everything flowed well together and it all seemed very natural. I really enjoyed reading your story and I'm happy to have gotten the chance to read it. ^^ You did well on it, very nice job. owo

This is a great read! The way you start off the story gives the reader a good vibe and I love the way you talked about the sky being god's piñata! That was so imaginative to me and so creative! It immediately made me think back to the time when I was a kid and when the candy would fall everywhere. It gave an incredible description! The way you also described Autumn and what she was doing was great too. It made me feel comfy and warm inside, and also like she was very at home and just so content with her life. You wrote out her emotions so beautifully that I could feel the nostalgia that she felt. Then when James entered, I adored the chemistry between the two and their interactions with one another. It's so sweet and innocent and the fact that he brought in a fir tree when they were celebrating Hanukkah was so thoughtful since she'd never celebrated it before. I've never actually celebrated Hanukkah before, so it's all a bit foreign to me, but the way you talked about it made it seem like something familiar. I thought it was nice that you talked a bit more about her background and how she felt a bit out of place, but then when James comforted her, it made me smile like a goof. To end it so sweetly was just heartwarming!

You did an amazing job on this! If there's one thing I'd like to point out, it's that in the sentence: "Though there was the few mandatory posed and planned family portraits taken by the fireplace," was should be were since there's more than one portrait. Other than that though, I thought it was flawless and very well written. Great job on this!