Broken Illusion - Comments

  • genocideforjenny

    genocideforjenny (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    25
    Location:
    United States
    Just keeps getting better!!
    September 24th, 2015 at 11:06pm
  • Average Lifesaver;;

    Average Lifesaver;; (655)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    26
    Location:
    United States
    The writing has a whimsical touch to it, which I totally am in love with.

    I'm also a big fan of fairytales, and I love the way you've brought them to life so vividly. Kira has such spunk, and the dialogue between her and Thane is so great. It feels natural and conversational, not rigid like some movies/books make characters sound.

    The chapter with Wendy had a nice cadence to it, and set up her character so perfectly. It's interesting to see her paired up with Maleficent, and I'm wondering what's going to happen when Wendy hits seventeen! I'm also hoping that Peter Pan is going to become a reality...

    The Belle chapter has really great descriptions, and paints the scenes fantastically. The exposition is also really nicely handled, it doesn't feel like you're dumping the information on the reader. I also love the end to the chapter, so I can't wait to get back to her rotation to see what happens.

    Marion's chapter is a different tone than the other, but I like the slight change of voice. The three other chapters all had different voices for each character, but felt relatively downtrodden. Marion seems a little brasher. I wasn't really expecting Robin Hood, but I'm digging the portrayal in this version.

    I wish I could read more, but I only have time for a few chapters right now. I can't wait to see if they're all going to tie together, and how. And what is going to happen to each of them. This story is a great example of creating four interesting, compelling female leads. And the writing for each chapter seems to compliment the next, making all the stories feel different but seamless.

    Really enjoying this and can't wait for more! (:
    July 27th, 2015 at 12:13am
  • lumosmancer

    lumosmancer (150)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    24
    Location:
    Great Britain (UK)
    Looks great so far!
    Update soon?:)
    January 9th, 2014 at 06:57pm