August 16th, 2016 at 01:06pm
The first line straightaway put me in a sombre mood, and it was followed by nice descriptions of the situation. I felt like I was in the character's head, so nice job! I did spot a mistake you made twice - you said 'afterwords' (concluding section in a book) rather than 'afterwards'.I love this drabble so much that I'm going to feature it in my drabble column in the Mibba Magazine
Summary: Ahh, I love how simple yet relatable the summary is. It's that feeling of liking someone so much that to a point, we don't even mind how they act as long as they're there, which can be unhealthy but also sweet, in way. I can already tell you're going to put me through some turmoil but I think I'm going to be okay with that.
Content: Okay, wow. I loved reading this. I loved the melancholy feel of this, of the obvious yearning they have for the object of their affection and knowing that that person doesn't feel the same way, man, that sucks. It almost feels like you're putting my thoughts into words of what it feels like to be rejected in a sense. I think you captured those feelings really well, especially with the apologies about not wanting to pretend to forget things or hiding that they enjoyed what they were doing. I know I keep saying it, but it is so relatable and so in tune with how others feel when they go through this.
I thought this was beautifully written and the way you've captured these sorts of feelings was perfectly done. I'm really impressed by the amount of emotion you've packed in, in such a short piece. Nicely done!