Extrinsic - Comments

  • swimming.butterfly

    swimming.butterfly (100)

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    This is really interesting. Can't wait for more :)
    May 8th, 2016 at 04:23am
  • Michael Westen

    Michael Westen (450)

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    I can't wait for the following chapters/rest of the story.
    May 6th, 2016 at 08:52pm
  • Michael Westen

    Michael Westen (450)

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    How does the mail get to the moon? How often does it come? Are these weird questions? I'm just curious... And why is there war on Earth? What are they fighting for? So many questions!

    AND HOLY CRAP! I was just starting to think that that might happen and BAM. Woah woah woah. This is getting intense and I can't wait for an update!
    April 18th, 2016 at 05:55am
  • gipsy danger.

    gipsy danger. (100)

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    This story is amazing, absolutely amazing!

    I love Nina. She is a great narrator and I love reading her thoughts on her sister and her family, You've created a great character with amazing depth. I adore her and her story. It seems like such a dull, mundane thing to work in a mail room. Yet her sister was so adventurous (as well as her mother) and it's interesting to see how that has effected Nina. And I love how you write, leaving me with tons of questions about what will happen on Nina's journey.

    This story is amazing, definitely one that has sucked me into. I love sci-fi and space and this is just wonderful! I cannot wait to read more!
    April 18th, 2016 at 05:03am
  • Audrey T

    Audrey T (6730)

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    I'm scared. (I feel like Mira is going to do something reckless soon.)
    April 4th, 2016 at 02:15am
  • Michael Westen

    Michael Westen (450)

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    I seriously can't wait to see where this goes from here. I love it so much.
    April 2nd, 2016 at 07:21pm
  • nojokesaboutmyname

    nojokesaboutmyname (100)

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    This story is amazing. So simple, su subtle, and yet I think it's beautiful. No need for empty lines or filler.
    April 2nd, 2016 at 07:52am
  • Michael Westen

    Michael Westen (450)

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    How does this not have more comments? This is absolutely brilliant!

    The way it's narrated is just perfect. It gives such an intimate connection with Nina. The way she describes everything, the way she sees her sister, it makes her feelings come alive. And the fact that she has anxiety and it's worsened by space isn't something I've ever seen before.

    It was heart breaking to see how she grew up, the fact that her sister held all the lime light. But with that last chapter, it's like a crushing blow to how everything has been going. Looking at the summary I wonder if Nina is going to take a step and follow in her mother's and sister's footsteps.

    Seriously this is hands down one of my favorite fics on here. I hope you continue updating this and update it soon!
    March 31st, 2016 at 07:53pm
  • TheRealOrsonKrennic

    TheRealOrsonKrennic (100)

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    Wow. This is crazy cool.

    This story is really interesting. It's definitely a strong idea. The characters have an air of mystery but are still human, however, there is something different with how the people are. I am a huge fan of space and stories that have to do with humans in space are my personal favorite.

    It was a little confusing to start, but the short chapters and the repetition give a flow to the story that I really enjoy. I wait in apprehension to see this plot further itself and I'm excited to see where this story goes.

    There are some grammar errors and there are a couple things that could be done that could help the story flow more and make it clearer to the reader, but overall I'm very pleased with this.

    You are a really strong writer and I want to see more from you. Congratulations, your story is wonderful!
    March 28th, 2016 at 07:59pm
  • TheRealOrsonKrennic

    TheRealOrsonKrennic (100)

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    Wow. This is crazy cool.

    This story is really interesting. It's definitely a strong idea. The characters have an air of mystery but are still human, however, there is something different with how the people are. I am a huge fan of space and stories that have to do with humans in space are my personal favorite.

    It was a little confusing to start, but the short chapters and the repetition give a flow to the story that I really enjoy. I wait in apprehension to see this plot further itself and I'm excited to see where this story goes.
    \
    You are a really strong writer and I want to see more from you. Congratulations, your story is wonderful!
    March 28th, 2016 at 07:59pm
  • Audrey T

    Audrey T (6730)

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    Loooooooved the first chapter. It read like a really good prologue. The first sentence was short but strong and pulled me in; the last was intriguing and even a little startling. Just from this chapter, I'm already interested in finding out more about Mira, the narrator, and the world they're living in.

    The second chapter was easy to read too. The way you set up the paragraphs with just a short sentence or two makes the narration seem a little stilted, but it works here. I loved that how you described Mira and her mom's relationship fits really well with how she's grieving. It seemed like Mira and her mom had something special that was separate from Mira and Nina (or even Nina and their mom), so it feels natural that she would want to grieve on her own (or she would feel like she lost more than Nina). From what you described in the first chapter, it's seems really fitting that the family would be so disjointed after the mom's death.

    I really like the pace of this story, so far. Chapter 1 we're introduced to the characters, Chapter 2 we learn more about them, and in Chapter 3 we learn about the conflict on Earth.

    By chapter 4, I could definitely understand how Nina could come to hate Mira. At this point, she seems a little selfish (though understandably so), but also really insensitive. I'm really starting to think that she does believe she loved her mother the most and she doesn't really think her father and sister are suffering at all - even though it's obvious that they're hurting too.

    I'm definitely subscribing. So far I like all of it. I'm interested in learning more about Mira and the war going on Earth, and I also want to learn more about how Nina fits into it.
    March 28th, 2016 at 02:54am