Chained - Comments

You really know how to convey emotion through the use of a letter. It also flows really nicely together. The love that Ornela was professing through her words felt genuine, as if this letter could've been one that had been written by someone in real life instead of being fictional. The way she talks about how Christian helped her to break away from the fear she had, to finally allow herself to feel love from someone once more, was really touching to read about. The dedication he has to her, and thus the love she harbours greatly towards him, is really clear in her reminiscing.

The short paragraph she included about her first love - the one whose mess Christian had to help fix - really brings back to the point of how she struggled before and illuminates just how big of an impact Christian had made on her. However, the later mention of him felt a bit off. Alex made me love him, and then he broke me - this seems like a really, really odd thing to put in a letter that's to the person that they're currently with, talking about the impact they've had on their life and what they helped them move on from. That's really the only thing I spotted in this that read wrong, but even so it doesn't take a lot from the piece and you can still feel the emotion and love that she's conveying regardless.

I feel like letter format always allows for more emotion to be imparted. Perhaps it's the fact that it's a personal thing straight from the narrator and normally, letters aren't intended to be read by people as a story, but it does give this sense of a genuine look into the person's life and how they interact with others. It also gives the chance to be perhaps a little more poetic with description than anybody ordinarily would be when it comes to writing. So for those reasons, I think the format fits this perfectly and just adds so much more to the story than if it was written as a conventional format for fiction.

The content itself is quite nice too, very poetic. It tells the story effortlessly (although like losing control. said, it is a bit unusual that she continually mentions Alex when the letter is to who we're assuming is her significant other) and there's a wonderful flow to the whole thing. You've got some really lovely metaphors throughout, and really unusual ones too. I don't think I've read anything like this before.

This was really nice. Lovely job.

I liked that this was written in a letter format. I feel like letters can be hit or miss, because they give you a nice chance to get emotions across and make it really personal, but they can also come off as sort of monotone and emotionless if they aren't done right.

For the majority of this story, I think you did a good job of keeping me interested and showing the emotion that they narrator/writer of the letter was feeling, so that was nice. It was a really sweet letter and it gave some good back story into the character, which I liked. There were a few parts where I felt like the description was getting a little repetitive though, and made me feel like the letter was dragging a bit. Though the bit about her past with Alex was nice to read to give us some insight into the character, I felt like it was sort of odd that she was mentioning him so often, especially in a letter to the man that she's with about how he helped her, if that makes sense.

That being said, though, I really did enjoy this and the way you formatted it. Nice job!

Deep! Good job!

It is really hard having all these memories that break your heart and you try to find a way out, especially if you have no one. I'm glad she had Christian by her side and that they are happily married now. c: