I'm here as the new judge for the Fairy Tale Contest!
One I like how you named the aunt Wendy. And yes, I live for strong sibling bonds! Laurie seems quite overdramatic, but when I was that age I probably would've felt exactly the same. It's a difficult time, but you can tell she grew up privileged. I'm definitely wondering what's going to happen from here on out.
Two I love that the band is called The Lost Boys! And the talk of his shadow and trying to 'reattach it', yes! There are so many amazing references and I'm falling in love with this. Eh, Jace does seem really creepy with his thoughts when he finally starts talking to Laurie. I know you probably didn't mean for it to come across that way, but it did and I'm no longer sure what to think of him as a character. I did really like the end of the chapter though and the quote that you used! I felt like it tied it all together really well.
You have good pacing and everything for this, my only concern is Jace's thoughts about Laurie and how... lustish it seems. I don't think they'd make a good couple, but that's just my opinion. Other than that, great work!
One
I like how you named the aunt Wendy. And yes, I live for strong sibling bonds! Laurie seems quite overdramatic, but when I was that age I probably would've felt exactly the same. It's a difficult time, but you can tell she grew up privileged. I'm definitely wondering what's going to happen from here on out.
Two
I love that the band is called The Lost Boys! And the talk of his shadow and trying to 'reattach it', yes! There are so many amazing references and I'm falling in love with this. Eh, Jace does seem really creepy with his thoughts when he finally starts talking to Laurie. I know you probably didn't mean for it to come across that way, but it did and I'm no longer sure what to think of him as a character. I did really like the end of the chapter though and the quote that you used! I felt like it tied it all together really well.
You have good pacing and everything for this, my only concern is Jace's thoughts about Laurie and how... lustish it seems. I don't think they'd make a good couple, but that's just my opinion. Other than that, great work!