Perfectly Imperfect - Comments

  • losing control.

    losing control. (4250)

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    I liked the personality that you gave Zacky in this story. Normally he's very closed off and hard but you made him much sweeter and shy and I really enjoyed that.

    I thought you did a great job with the relationship in this story. The realtionship between Zacky and Alexis but also between Zacky and Matt were super realistic. I loved the dialogue between Zacky and Matt, I could really imagine them sitting in a bar talking about all sorts of stuff.

    And with Alexis and Zacky, I loved that you touched on him being a rockstar because I really feel like feeling unwanted would be a big problem. I also loved that she was watching Dirty Dancing and noticed the elbows lmfao

    Overall I thought you did a really great job with the prompt and made the realtionships super realistic. Great job!
    June 24th, 2016 at 08:19pm
  • mrsmshadz

    mrsmshadz (100)

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    This was too cute!!! It was like their first time, all awkward, let me clean up after sex, killing the moment in the process. So cute bc thinking this could all be true about mini V. Lol
    September 27th, 2014 at 03:37pm
  • pat semetary;

    pat semetary; (200)

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    This was so cute Cute

    And the bit about the elbows? That was hilarious. But good job! I really enjoyed how realistic you made their relationship seem, as I can imagine any girl with a rockstar for a boyfriend would seem unwanted at times. Or any girl with a boyfriend, really. But anyway, good job again!
    April 28th, 2014 at 06:15am
  • clint barton.

    clint barton. (115)

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    Alright! Once again, I’m sorry for taking so long to get around to commenting on this, but I knew how long it was going to be and I wanted to make sure that when I sat down to read it, I had plenty of time to enjoy and comment. Cute

    First things first: I’m definitely a fan of the layout. It’s simplistic and elegant, I’m weirdly in love with the spotted gray background, and the colors work well together. Plus, you’ve obviously got a nice little headshot of a devastatingly handsome man as you’re banner.... xDD So yeah, I’m a fan of the layout. The summary is also very nice; the two sentences tell me everything I know and got me all nice and excited to see what was going to happen. And the three defined words at the top were well-chosen and it’s interesting to see how their definitions connect.

    I had to laugh at the introduction (and not in a bad way, of course)! I could just so easily picture the scene, Alexis pointedly not looking at Zack, but huffing over-dramatically and possibly even tapping her fingers as she waited for him to catch on. xD It set the scene well, and it was totally amusing.

    Also, I love how you immediately made note of all of the little things he was doing that were getting on her nerves (and rightly so! Ew, Zack!). But after reading the summary, I had been expecting Alexis to be nagging over nothing or something -- I’d guessed that she was the one doing the things to get under his skin. But now I can totally see how this is things they both do to get under the other’s skin. (Even if I totally think she’s in the right on some of this. xD) But yeah: love you for doing the prompt better than I’d even though it. Clap

    Oh, man! I found myself wincing at how quickly she brushed off his question; poor Zacky! Annnnnd my sympathy is gone. Really, a period joke? Ugh! (But really, can you tell me why it is guys think that’s such an acceptable thing to joke about? Because you totally nailed it and they all seem to jump to that conclusion, and then when that pisses us off, they take that as proof or something. Like what the hell?! And I am so off track. SORRY.)

    Ohhh. Yeah, I can kind of see Zack’s point, wanting to be able to just be a lazy ass for a little while after all of the hard work he has to put in on tour. (Although, something tells me he’s totally a slob on tour anyways, so there’s no real excuse there). But yeah, I can get that. And I’m glad Alexis is big enough to acknowledge that and know that he probably was exhausted.

    Oh, man, though! Two weeks? He’s been home from tour and they haven’t had sex in two weeks? I don’t blame her for being pissed! A girl should never have to rip off her clothes and bang on her chest in order to get a little bit of attention from her man! And another low blow from Zacky, damn! Gotta say, I find it hilarious that he’s using the “tired” excuse, when that’s totally the classic excuse for girls (well, maybe after “I have a headache”). I mean, come on, Zack! You want to unwind? Sleep with your girl!

    I usually despise stories where the main girl’s all worried about not being good enough and all oh woes me! about it, but I totally understand where Alexis is coming from. Her worries are totally realistic, especially considering they haven’t had sex in two weeks! And with how quick he is to brush it off, and act as if he’s not interest in having sex with her at all -- yeah, she’s got a right to react the way she does.

    Let me just say, I love you so much for letting her mind latch onto some of those classic romantic clichés about spontaneity and romance, letting her get a little carried away with it and a little over demanding, and then letting her realize how ridiculous it is (and how much she loves Zack’s elbows). xD But really, I think we really do get in so many arguments with our significant others because we very temporarily get caught up in what we don’t have, that we forget about how much we do have. Especially when an argument’s already brewing. I think you just captured that development absolutely perfectly.

    Haha, you already know how much I love Matt, too, so I’m sure you aren’t surprised to hear that I was thrilled to see you included him. And I absolutely love your portrayal of him, by the way! Hilarious! Gotta love the way friends can be total dicks to each other all while still counseling and helping each other out. xD But yeah, kudos to Matt for being real and narrowing right in on the root of the problem. (Because, really, Zack. Why the hell aren’t you having sex?) Oh my god! “Okay, let’s go grab a table and you can tell uncle Matty all about your dick problems.” lmfao

    Oh, goodness! At first I thought that maybe Zacky was going to be insecure about having a bit of a beer belly and everything, but no, of course it’s a size-envy thing. Men! I know it’s such a trivial issue, but I also know that so many men have so many worries about it that at the same time it’s not trivial at all... if that made any sense... so my point is, this is totally realistic and believable. Ridiculous that he’d listen to Johnny, but completely believable, too.

    And gotta love Matt multitasking by eye-fucking the blonde while dishing out advice. xD

    Haha, I love how Alexis warned him not to come any closer. I’d totally have said the same thing. And then oh my goodness, she even brought up the elbow?! That’s hilarious! And completely adorable. I love her. xD

    Obviously I’m a fan of the ‘you’re perfectly imperfect’ line, but just had to comment on that. So sweet! And aww, I love how her main reaction to his practically attacking her was ‘well, this is different’. And then, oh god, poor Zack, so deer-in-the-headlights at her yelp! I felt so embarrassed for him, him trying to take Matt’s suggestion and then just not being able to follow through because it’s just not his style. What a sweetheart! Hug (But oh my, I felt for Alexis there, too! If I were her, I would’ve been panicking about the ‘I can’t do this’ thing, thinking he meant he couldn’t get into the mood with me around or something!)

    Bravo for him being able to come clean! That was big of him, and must’ve taken a lot!

    Also, I love the fact that you made them both shy away from doing anything oral, considering he’d been a total slob so it’s completely unsurprising to find that he hadn’t showered in two days, and she was all worried about not having shaved. Totally realistic, and I know exactly where she’s coming from! And then him finishing a bit early and her not having completely finished -- totally believable and exactly what I had been hoping to see in a story when I made the contest; thank you! Also, totally digging the lack of porn-like orgasmic screams. xD

    So yeah... Um, long comment still kind of long but totally shorter than before: I loved this! This was a beautifully written one-shot, it had a great, comprehensive but still simple plot, and it was super realistic, even in all of the little details. I could totally see this actually happening! It also had a great collection of humor and embarrassment -- two of my favorite things. So yeah, this was lovely, and I’m so, so very glad that you entered it! :D
    April 28th, 2014 at 06:06am
  • Damsel of Darkness

    Damsel of Darkness (150)

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    Oh my god. You just... you capture things that make me throw my head back and go "I know, right?!" specifically with this:

    ...shouting obscenities into the too-expensive headset he wore.

    I couldn't tell you how many times I've watched my own boyfriend in pretty much the exact same state and had the nagging thought shoot through my head about how much money has been spent on the games console and all the accessories. It's mind boggling!

    “This is an eighteen rated game, if you must know.”

    Oh, Zacky.. wow. It's not enough you've poked the bear, now you want to get all sassy with her? Dumb, dude. Dumb.

    I swear to god, it's like you've secretly recorded an argument between Rob and I and turned it into a story. I used to have the same complaints when we lived together about him staying up until all hours (usually around 5-6am) and keeping me awake coz he has to yell into his headset instead of talk normally. I've experianced everything Lex has... except when it comes to the sex thing, my complaint used to be that he'd have nothing to do with me until he decided to finally climb into bed, then he'd expect me to be over the moon he finally wanted to act like I exsisted coz he wanted to get laid. Pfft!!!

    “Is that was this is about? Sex? Jesus, Lex, I didn’t know you were so fucking shallow.”

    Can I hit him? I really want to slap him super hard upside the head. With a bat.

    Why couldn’t she have that? Why couldn’t her boyfriend be perfect like all of the others? She loved him with all of her heart, but he didn't half annoy her, sometimes.

    Aww, poor girl. I know how she feels, but seriously, those women that go on about how 'perfect' their relationships are seem like they're either full of shit or their relationships aren't 'real'... they seem more superficial, than anything.

    I can't help but giggle as they bicker back and forth. Only because I totally get it and I know how frustating it is to be trying to get your point across while your guy sits there and ignores you... picking at his toenails *shudders*. Mine does that too and I HATE it. It's the sound that gets to me... it's so irritating. I'm actually a bit disapointed that the remote missed Zack's head. Hahaha.

    See, that pisses me off too. I hate when the guy leaves like that, when in all rights, she was the one who should've stormed out. He just got pissy that she was mad at him and instead of staying there and talking it out or actually trying to understand what was wrong, he stormed off in a huff. Now she gets to sob her heart out and sit there and wonder what the point is... Sad I'd like to give her a hug now.

    It's funny, to begin with I was like "Matt, you're not helping. And way to be stereotypical, assuming she's watching a chick flick and eating ice cream! Butthead." but then he goes and changes my mind by telling Zack that he does in fact need to make more of an effort and do what she's asking for. Good guy!

    “Okay, let’s grab a table and you can tell uncle Matty all about your dick problems.”

    Bahahahaha! Wow, that's funny and creepy at the same time. Dude, don't refer to yourself as 'Uncle Matt' when discussing things like this... it's just weird. Hahaha.

    “And you’ve taken the, probably drunken, ramblings of Johnny Christ to heart and that’s making you not want to have sex with your girlfriend?”

    Hahaha, although I think it's cute that he's obviously self-conscious about something (I'm gonna guess maybe his physique, since earlier it was noted that he has a beer belly Wink) he's crazy for letting a comment from Johnny get to him that much that he's avoiding sleeping with his girlfriend. How silly.

    Well played, Matt. Well played. Hahaha.

    The fact that Matt got it right as to what she would be doing is irrelevent, by the way. He still should assume that shit. Hahahahaha! But that's the best movie to watch when you're feeling all blah about a relationship. It's got drama, romance and dancing... it can't go wrong.

    “Zack has amazing elbowwwwws!” She wailed, crying harder into her sleeve.

    LMAO! Oh my god, that's too hilarious! Oh, poor little thing... girl needs a hug. But the things she's reminiscing over that Zack has done for her are very cute. It's nice to see that he has made effort in the past... but I still think she is valid in the way she's feeling now. Yeah, some of the cute things wear off over time, but when things get too comfortable and people get too complacent, it can suck.

    Awwww! It's is the best feeling when your guy tells you that you're beautiful when you know damn well you probably look your worst! Zack's a good guy, I've decided I now just want to hit upside the head with my hand Mr. Green

    “I love you and your elbows so much. I’m sorry for being such a bitch to you; I didn’t mean any of it.”

    LMAO! Oh, Lex. You crazy, emotional girl. I don't blame Zack for being confused... or wondering is she's high. I'm starting to wonder myself. Hahaha.

    “I snotted on your face.”
    “Don’t care, you can snot on me as much as you want, baby. I’ll still love you.”


    Bahahahaha! Oh hell... you write some hilarious, sweet and seriously gross realistic stuff. I love your work. It's fast becoming some of my favourite stuff!

    Oh, how awkward. Poor guy trying to be all rough and tumble and he nearly rips her ear open. I feel bad for him that he's letting his stupid manliness get in the way of him expressing his self-esteem issues or whatever. Guys are dumb when they do that... I hate it when people say that guys shouldn't express their feelings or whatever. Nothing more endearing than when a man cries... well, for good reason. If he cries because he stepped on an ant, that's a bit over the top. Hahaha.

    Oh my god! Seriously?! Johnny said his wang was small and he listened to him?! That's just crazy! A) it's Johnny and B) he's a dude... how exactly would he know whether what Zacky's got is satisfying? I highly doubt he's experianced it, so pfft. Now I want to hit Johnny upside the head. With a bat.

    Your..mini V is fine. Not too big, not too small. Just right, for me. And plus, it’s not how big it is, it’s how you use it.”

    Damn straight! Size, for the most part, is kind of irrelevent. At least, that's what I think. Haha.

    I love that the sex scene was so real. Especially since he has been feeling insecure and they did just fight and things are still a little bit off. I liked that it was realistic in the way she didn't get her rocks off during sex, since it had been weeks since they'd done anything. It was kind of cute that he wanted to please her... and he got to Wink It was overall just a really realistic and sweet scene... probably the best I've read in quite some time!

    I loved this one shot. I liked the characters and the way you told the story... it was all very relatable, especially to me! I hope you win... because it definitely deserves to! I also loved the banner... he's so adorable! Naww. Haha.

    Edit: Damn, didn't realise how long this was. My bad. Hahahaha.
    April 26th, 2014 at 05:41pm
  • Synful Cocktail

    Synful Cocktail (100)

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    @ rachthebat.
    I'm glad I could make your day, lady. Arms
    April 26th, 2014 at 01:51pm
  • heretic.

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    @ Synful Cocktail
    You've made my day with this here comment! lmfao Arms
    April 26th, 2014 at 01:48pm
  • Synful Cocktail

    Synful Cocktail (100)

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    ZACKY YOU OVERLY-SENSITIVE, FLOWERY LITTLE SHIT YOU! (Sorry, that's all that's coming to mind first up... Now...)

    Okay, so, this is a huge change from your typical romance stuff, but with that being said, I must say you did a fine ass job of it, m'love! I loved it all! Alexis seems like such a sweet girl and she's devoted to her man, but, like usual, some men are just born again pigs with a slight romantic bone haha. Zackyyyyy, why you gotta scratch your balls and pick your toenails, you piglet. Ugh. Disgusting. File

    Oh Jesus, he left. Without telling her. Dammit, kiddo. Oh god, you're whinging and bitching to Matthew?! Who mind you, I'm totally loving right now. God, he's like a woman. Zacky's right! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAH! ZACHARY WHAT POSSESSED YOU TO FUCKING LISTEN TO CHRIST?! OH MY GOD MATE, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?! Poor guy, it was about his peen. Well fuck, man. Do what Matt said and grab your balls and be a manly man! lmfao

    Sweet heavens to betsy, the sex was real and was fairly yummy. It was slightly awkward due to it being after a fight. But at the same time, it was rushed on Zee's part because it'd been that long and he was seriously doubting his performance skills, the silly kid. Then, when he was fingering her, I loved how you added the whole not shaved in a while thing. For most women, they're all 100% concerned about her lady bits and it's mortifying if you're going to be sexual, and you realise you haven't/forgotten to shave(d).

    MAATT PLEASE MARRY ME OKAY BYE. In Love

    I loved it! It was so very real and you've done an excellent job crumpet! Cute

    Edit: I totally forgot to wish you good luck! Facepalm silly. AND BRIAN YOU KINKY FUCKER YOU! CMERE!
    April 26th, 2014 at 01:39pm
  • AJ9

    AJ9 (100)

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    I loved this. It was really cute and made a change reading about a real sounding couple. I really enjoyed it. It made a refreshing change.
    April 24th, 2014 at 07:07pm
  • so sedated.

    so sedated. (105)

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    Aww, this is so cute! And highly entertaining. I've read it over a couple times now. I love it's realism, because let's face it men are.. well, men, hah. Yet they complain we're the complicated ones. This was a great read, definitely nice to read something besides the obvious romantic gentleman story every once and a while. Adds some variety.

    I wish you good luck with the contest! Mr. Green
    April 22nd, 2014 at 12:33am
  • heretic.

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    @ vampire_sun
    Thank you!! :D You're my biggest fan, haha. Once or twice I caught myself going off into lovey dovey land, haha. But yeah, most men in real life, aren't all that romantic, so I kept it real! And because the contest called for it XD
    April 21st, 2014 at 09:41pm
  • vampire_sun

    vampire_sun (100)

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    Oh goodness, Rach, you've done it again. I'm not saying this to suck up, but your one-shots are some of my favorites. I feel like I'm getting a complete story, and I'm not left thinking there ought to be more. You wrap things up nicely.

    Back to this story, taking anything a drunk JC says to heart is just asking for trouble- whether a sensitive little flower or not. And I loved that this wasn't overly romantic. Real-life situations are a refreshing read every once in a while, and this was still sweet at the end. Good luck with the contest!
    April 21st, 2014 at 09:30pm
  • heretic.

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    @ HerNameIsAlice
    Guys can be sensitive little flowers, too, hahaha.
    April 21st, 2014 at 08:57pm
  • HerNameIsAlice

    HerNameIsAlice (100)

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    This was all cuz he thought his dick was small?!! Duuuuude...... guys are sooo hard and complicated!
    April 21st, 2014 at 08:10pm
  • Fuck You Mibba!

    Fuck You Mibba! (135)

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    I really love this! It was cute, funny, realistic and enjoyable. Great story and good luck in the contest! xD
    April 21st, 2014 at 06:50pm