635798 - Comments

I'm so sorry it took me so long to comment! (from my comment swap)

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I really like how you start off the story with the girl being forced to the camps. I especially like all of your description. You really paint a picture of what the camps were like and such. I also really like how you started the first chapter with him putting his uniform on. I like how he actually doesn't want to be a part of the party. It makes it much more interesting. Your writing really flows well. Your description is great. And, best of all, it really shows that you did your research. (or maybe you just really know your stuff!)

Great job on this. Such a great idea for a story. :)

So, whew. Taking a break from my lovely editor duties to return the comment swap!

So, let me start out with this: I very, very rarely read original fiction on here - and I even seldom enjoy that which I do.

That being said, I loved this story. Particularly, I love that it's in the males point of view. That's pretty rare to find around here and, while I was skeptical at first, I ended up really liking that you decided to do that. Very unique, for sure.

I really enjoyed reading this, and I busted through it in about an hour. I like the direction that this is taking, and I have a couple theories to how this story will end... Though, I hope I'm wrong on the most-likely one. I'll just keep those to myself for now, though... hehe.

The juxtaposition between Wolfgangs father and the rest of the family creates a very intriguing element. I suspected him to find out about the two little starcrossed lovers every chapter and, while I'm glad that [for now] he remains in the dark, I shudder to think of what his reaction will be. It's only a matter of time before he figures it out or is told.

Personally, I think it's rather cute that he calls her "Six". That suitcase that his mother found... that was hers, I'm assuming. I can't help but wonder if that's foreshadowing of some sort.

I also adore Jürgen, the relationship he has with Six, and how he treats Wolfy. I'ma call 'em that, 'cause I am lazy don't wanna type out his whole name... Kudos for how you hinted way back that she had someone else slipping her food ;)

Overall, I really enjoyed this story and hope to see many more updates as soon as possible! Wonderful job.

This chapter definitely made me cry. Oh god the feels.

This chapter definitely made me cry. Oh god the feels.

Loveit!! Can't wait for more!!!

oh please please more soooooooooooon
it's become my fav story at the moment

Yet another amazing chapter, I don't know how you do it.
I'm hoping his secret is safe, I just about had a panic attack when he told Jürgen.

I love this. Can't wait for more!!

I find it amazing how whenever I start reading this, I block everything out. It just feels so real, as if I'm actually watching it happen. I hope Mutter doesn't tell Vater, she doesn't come off as the type of person who would. Hopefully 635798 is okay!

Chapter Three:
He felt my glance and looked at me, too. A stone-hard glare was carved on his face. I realized I should’ve been looking like that as well. I sucked in a breath, stood up straighter, and puffed out my chest. Maybe now I looked like a Nazi.

Oi poor Wolfgang, not a big, bad Nazi.

Vater had explained to me the life expectancy wasn’t very long here. The woman in front of us was proving that wrong. She didn’t have an A or B in front of her serial number so her tattoo was part of the regular series. That was dropped back in May and replaced by the A and B series for the sake of better organization.

Now I really hope that Vater doesn't remember our dear, dear female. You've got me worried now dear.

“I’m not like mein Vater. I’m not like the other Nazis. I hate this place just as much as you do. Trust me.”

Her head shook frantically. She quickly turned on her heels and ran off towards the direction of Buna. Blood dripped down her fingers, creating a trail on the ground. I sighed and stood up. Slowly, I began to follow the footprints Vater and Jonji left in the dead grass.

Thank you so much for not letting this character leap into Wolfgang's arms and being realistic with this.

It was limb as she used her other hand to hug her legs.

As I realize this is a Nano novel, there's surprisingly only a few little flubs. I think you meant "limp" or something like that. Limp makes the piece flow better.

But, as if on instinct, the woman slapped my hand away. She realized what she’d done within seconds and immediately begun cowering. Her soft whimper was the only sound in the night.

Wow this is so powerful. It just shows how much they have broken her spirit and how utterly dehumanized she is.

Her lack of words say so much.

I may not have been able to protect her from other Nazis but at least with this promise, I was one less to worry about.

Also thank god you didn't immediately jump into Wolfgang professing his love and vowing to help her escape and they go off and live in some farmhouse in Switzerland or some other stupid fairytale bs. I like how realistic Wolfgang is in the way that he knows he can't protect from everything at the camp.

Chapter Two:
“The man walked over and he and Vater hugged like old pals.”

Wow of all the people I would hug, Josef Medele is not one of them. Wow. What a crazy guy. This reminds me of some post on tumblr with Hitler walking with the little girl. Sometimes it’s hard to accept that these monsters were actually people and that anyone is capable of these horrors.

“I have a bad feeling about that man,” I whispered.

“Oh, Wolfgang. He causes no harm,” Vater said.

Vater is a crazy bastard. Sorry. Had to.

Well, it would’ve been grassy if it all just wasn’t so… dead.

Your subtlety makes this piece.

Cynical, I knew

Just a little error. It breaks up the flow. "Cynical, I know" would be a more concise and easier way to *read* it.

I was able to guess this only because of her height and her facial features seemed to tell the story of a woman that age at one point. Otherwise the woman looked like a fragile child.

Oh gurl I know who that is. Also, nice description. Nothing too graphic and nothing too much. You've got a good balance, a "Goldilocks" way of explaining and describing things.

Oh I cannot wait for the next chapter!

Chapter Four

Alright, I don't think I'll use specific quotes on this one for the fear of me being too redundant. As stated before, I loved the realistic, but not too harsh descriptions and the showing of the dehumanization of the people in the camp.

Specific to this chapter, I appreciated the re-introduction of Shifre, even though it is short-lived. And I really, really appreciate you not sugar coating something so serious and not making some epic hero out of Wolfgang. These two are realistic people in a time when everything was painfully realistic.

I'm reccing and subscribing.

wow I need to stop clicking the button so much~~ I'll come back and slap my other reviews in here so it isn't messy

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Chapter One:
I like that you gave the male counterpart and first person viewpoint. It’s almost like it restates the Nazis dehumanization of the Jews.

“imaginary lint”
caught my eye. The German are extremely organized clean freaks and you captured that well. They like even sweep the roads in the front of their homes on Sunday.

Forty-eight children were going to die because of me.
I like how you didn’t write this as “forty-eight Jewish children.” As children are just children. And I like how you tied Abbey’s childish perspective in before this.

I put my hand against where the sound was coming from and waited. Soon, that sound, too, became a thing of the past.

Powerful line. Nothing else to say.
Also, as a person who was raised in a Polish/Eastern culture (and is ethnically Polish/Eastern), I am glad you did not forget my distant relatives as they were victims as well.

Introduction:

I like how you didn’t make her a teenager. Reading about teenagers 24/7 gets really boring. Also, I like the third person narrative of the story. There’s an undertone of numbness in this story almost like Night by Elie Weisel (which is a superb first hand account on the holocaust if you haven’t read it).

There was only one thing that set off the historian in me and it was this line.

“Alright then. Anyway, the Aryan race is the perfect race. Blonde hair and blue eyes. My parents have that. I only have the blonde hair,” Shifre explained. She blinked her gray eyes.

Aryan doesn’t necessarily mean blonde hair blue eyes. Most Aryans originate from Scandinavia through around Germany so natural they do tend to be blonde hair blue eyes. To be considered ‘Aryan’ enough for the German SS, you had to prove five generations of Aryan blood on both your mother and fathers side (that’s what I learned in World II, the internet says something like 150 years of non-Jewish ancestry.)

It’s not wrong because most Aryans do have blonde hair and blue eyes, but you can be considered Aryan with brown hair brown eyes, green eyes, black hair, red hair, etc.

Oh and I didn’t know about the women guard thing. That was extremely interesting (can I say it’s interesting? Is that appropriate? I hope so because I don’t mean to offend anyone.)

I am a huge fan of World War history, especially WWII and I have to say this story is an absolute delight. I'm always looking out for WWII stories and I'm really, really happy I found this one. I haven't completely caught up yet, but I really wanted to let you know how much I appreciate this story.

Your writing is spot on, and it doesn't drag on. It's great. Keep it up.

Friggin loud mouth Kapo... However I loved this chapter, keep it up

OMG!!!! THEY KISSED!!!!

I'm rooting for this hell to end, but I googled and found out that the 1st Auschwitz camp was founded in 1940 and closed in 1945! I don't know if Six will manage to survive for so long because a lot of bad things happenned during this five years and she's already so weak... What about Wolfgang having to leave to fight in the war? It's so sad the time and place their love story developed :(

I may, may be not obsessed and read about the story of Helena Citrónová, here it is:

"A Slovakian Jewish survivor. Realizing her best chance of surviving was to work in Canada (a sub camp of Auschwitz), she took the uniform of a woman who worked in Canada and had just died then snuck in to sort clothes. She was caught by the Kapo who told her she would be punished when she returned to camp. That same day happened to be the birthday of the SS guard who supervised the sorting area and when asked if anyone could sing for him, it was revealed that Helena had a beautiful voice. She was asked to perform for Franz Wunsch who, upon hearing her lovely voice, became smitten requesting that she return to work in Canada the following day.At first she felt she would rather be dead than be with an SS man but as time went on Wunsch continued to treat her with kindness, leaving cookies for her and even going as far as delivering her love note – a huge risk for him since relationships between Germans and Jews were forbidden. She eventually began to relent but it wasn’t until Wunsch saved the life of Helena’s sister that she knew his love for her was real."

Yes, I cried. Hope is the only thing stronger than fear after all, right? Ugh, this story is so good and sad, you're killing me.