Home Is in Her Arms - Comments

That was...amazing. I would totally go into detail and bore you to tears, but I GOTTA GO READ THE SEQUEL!!!

I fucking love this story, and I know the sequel will be amazing x 1245345636!!!

*giggles* Freaking amazing lover! I'm so excited for the sequel. &like I told you XD I cried...again. Anyway.... yeah, so this story pretty much rocks my pants, I can't believe it's finally finished :) <3333

Chapter 19 - I AM REALLY HXC ABOUT THIS STORY!!! Hehe.

"The temperate dropped drastically" - "temperate" should be "temperature".

A bit of tense-confusion here again - "Both fireworks and bombs blow up inside me". Should be bombs blew up inside me

Did I see a subtle reference to Famous Last Words in the second paragraph? I think I did :] It perfectly suited all the emotions and feelings and thoughts that Ana was experiencing at that moment though. And Ana's quick decision to end her life seemed proper, too. For another character, it might seem hasty and cowardly. But with the emotional rollercoaster she's been on since she met Gerard, and all of the conflicting feelings that she felt towards him, and the final conclusion that she truly did love him only to have him dead in front of her eyes, it is fitting. And she has convinced herself that she'll never feel that way towards another person, so, yeah. In her state, she isn't able to comprehend feeling like that towards anyone else, and it upsets her more.

Again, you show the bond between Ana and her mother. That Carrie would put Gerard's life before her own, because of how much her daughter loves him, is really supporting the fact that she loves her daughter. You don't mention how Gerard is important to the vampire clan, or any of that. Just how Carrie feels she needs to save Gerard for Ana.

Analisa's questioning of whether Gerard really was there, of if she was just going crazy, was so perfect and natural when you consider the mental state that she was in. And him showing her that he was, infact, real, was very loving and well done.

The last line made me melt. 'Nuff said about that :mrgreen:

[P.S.] PAGE CLAIM! I name it....CAYSKANK!
Because I own this whole message board, whore :XD

Chapter 18 - If you don't like me pointing out the typos, let me know. I'm just a grammar freak. I like it when people tell me of typos I've made, and I am going on the assumption that you do too. Of course, that doesn't mean that you do :] So, if you don't, let me know. Otherwise, I will resume the annoying editing :grr: And yes, that WAS a threat!

"One might I could see her icy blue eyes staring me with fear and love and then next thing, she is gone" - Hmm. I think you meant one moment I could see her icy blue eyes..?

"What can’t move Gerard?” - This doesn't quite look right to me. Did you mean why can't you move, Gerard? ?

"I could feel the cold hard mental slice part of skin" - You probably meant I would feel the cold hard metal, since he is not actually being stabbed or cut.

"I let my sword go and scared up to the smoky sky" - "scared" should be "stared".

"He destroyed him, but in the process he slowly dead sir" - "dead" should be "died"

"I have loved Nikki longer then you have loved Gerard! Never tell me that I don’t care about that girl; she is my life!” :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: .....Forgive me, I am having a slight fangirl moment. 99% of the time, I picture the characters as you have made them and don't envision myself in this story at all. Except for parts like this :XD

The battle scene between Gerard and Lestat was pretty well done, I think, for what I've seen you write most of the time :] I've read better, but that's when we're talking about R.A. Salvatore and authors in his ranks. For you, I think you did a good job :mrgreen: I could envision it, so that's gotta mean something!

My heart literally broke when Analisa saw Gerard's body being carried to the house. That...entire scene. It tore at my heartstrings, you know? You...killed...Gerard. asldfjaslfjasdlfjlsjslk. He'll come back though - I have complete faith in Miss Erin.

And you know. Through this whole thing, Ray's character struck me as very organized and wise. And he comes through with that in this chapter.

And oh! Is the secret what I think it is? It had better be, or else...:grr:

THANK GOD for a sequel! I would probably throttle you with my bare hands if not.

Chapter 17 - Typos again. And once again, I find myself being a spaz and needing to make you aware of them. I'll get them out of the way *hides*

"Even though I was anger at the display I had just seen" - should be angered at the display

"I tipped toed into the room" - I'm not sure about this one, but I think "tipped toed" is supposed to be tip-toed.

"it only took a few seconds to find Analisa’s position" - "it" should be capitalized.

"Zanira mouthed me" - should be Zanira mouthed at me

"I breath a sign of relief that she was okay but then feared that she no longer wanted to be around me" - Tense-confusion again - "breath" should be "breathed". (Yes, I checked that one. It doesn't sound right, but is grammatically correct and an actual word :XD) And "sign" should be "sigh".

"Zombies were running around like chickens that lost their heads and our group beheading them" - I think you meant and our group was beheading them?

I truly loved the moment between Mikey and Zanira in the beginning. It was delicate and tender in all the right ways. And Gerard's jealousy was so completely natural and fitting, since you had previously mentioned him wanting the kind of love that his brother has with his wife. I like how you state something, and then follow it up later on. You support what you say, you know? Some famous authors even forget the importance of doing that.

I like how Gerard says "my Analisa". I also liked the blurb about how her voice "made me go weak" I don't know...I'm a sap like that, I guess :mrgreen:

I think my favorite part was how Gerard counted to three before crunching Lestat in the back of the head. Don't ask why - I don't exactly have a reason xD

Lestat bashing Gerard's fighting skills was very effective too - it's that classic villian-type of line. It suits his evil persona, but also shows his desperate bravado - to rag on Gerard to lighten the fact that he was caught unaware.

The whole hell on fire and zombies running like chickens made me laugh. Truly, it did. But it also gave me a vivid image of what was going on. Even if the image made me laugh even harder :XD

"And since I come from a female nature, I ran back to aid the only man I love." That was a beautiful touch. Really, and it was even better followed by her vision being played out. It's great, because the vision of hell is all around them, but they are able to have that tender moment. You know, before Frank whips her back to the house for her own safety :D

...And you shall recieve Nikki-Gee's insight :mrgreen:

Chapter 16 (I gotta number these comments again, because I see I have missed a couple while I was gone!) - Okay, first off, there are a few typos. I'm a spaz, and can't leave them ignored. I'm not beaking you here by pointing them out, just trying to help :D

"He it was unclear how he would do it" - I think you meant It was unclear...

You had a bit of tense-confusion over here - "I stood next to Mikey and watching him". You meant and watched him, I'm pretty sure :]

"and me crash the car" should be and made me crash...

I don't remember any mindless army in the Quizilla rendition of this! Although, it has been a long time since I've read this, so I probably just forgot? Anyways. The idea intrigues me :D I also liked the little blurb at the beginning about how Gerard could "feel her pain and her fear" - it was a nice touch.

The scene between Mikey and Zanira was sweet and really nice to have, because it shows how much he really does care for her. And the understanding that passes through Gerard and Mikey gave light to the kind of relationship that they have as brothers, too.

You do a really good job of making me hate Lestat, you know that? His cold voice and red eyes that you keep mentioning really add to his 'evil' character. And these poor bad guys. The heros always fuck up their lives, so then they are obsessed with revenge. Which only screws them over in the long run.

Yay a sequle!

I think my whole self just fucking melted.

That was beautiful [:

Wow....Whats the secrite?
Is he alive?
Pleas upsate i must know.

Ahhh I'm so proud of you XD I can't contain it lol

asdfjkl; I can't wait for the next update... even though I know what happens ahhh and the last chapter! I'm positive that I'll cry again lol gah. And the sequellll zomg. ily!

I loved this chapter
=)
and especially the part where they were drwaing their swords because it was so cheesy, but what story doesn't have at least one cheesy moment? lol

can't wait for the end
=)

Yay i love it!

ERIN VAGINA! HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME HANGING?!

:) hehe. i love you. and you're amazing writing skills. but once again... I'm going fall asleep wondering what happens next!?.

Yay for the kick ass updates!
Cant wait for the next ones.

I just really like how I read this, and I don't see MCR. I don't see Zanira, Cay, and me. I see the characters that you've created and their own personalities. It's nice :]

......Can you tell I love this story?

Chapter 15 - I love Gerard fretting over the letter right at the beginning :mrgreen: Classic XD

Gerard's almost instant transformation into what he called the "protector" was nicely done too. It shows that he cares about Ana, because he is immediately spurring into action about her safety. I liked how you put Ana's mom in there too, it was subtle but showed the mother/daughter relationship. Gerard's envy of Mikey felt really real too, and makes me sympathize with his character more.

And bahah, the whole Bob/Frank thing over Nikki was hilarious. I was like "oooh, he's in shit now" and Bob going Ray read his mind, what is the fucker thinking!?! made me laugh. Everyone is worried about Ana and just want to go help her, but Bob doesn't let it drop and I think you created a solid aspect of his character through that. You know, how he cares about his sister and is so over-protective.

It was nice that you didn't forget about your other characters, too. You let them all have their little moments before going after Analisa. I'm also liking the chemistry between Bob and Cay XD

She was my world, and I wasn’t about to let on man take that away from me, not without a fight.

Wonderful ending to that chapter, I think :mrgreen:

Chapter 14 - Nikki is so forceful about the wedding dress, because she knows that Ana and Gerard were meant to be and will be together forever. Yep. And after Ana has her 12th baby with Gerard, she'll be thanking Nikki and Zanira and Cay for dragging her into the bridal shops. :mrgreen: Haha XDD

I love when she finds the note in Gerard's jacket, by the way. I don't know. It's like, she's not supposed to see that note, you know? He didn't give it to her or anything, she found it by accident. I think that's why I like it.

I also love how you portray Ana's emotions and feelings. She seems so real, you know? And all of her reactions to everything are very realistic considering the situation she's been thrown into...

So, yeah! Can you tell that I loved chapter 14?

dude! You fucking rock my pants! [and nipples lmao] ohhh the weirdnessss XD haha i so like did whole "ooooooohhhh" thing like Frankie was in trouble when Bob found out about him and Nikki haha and Zanira! with the elephants and her head hah i can't wait for an update love ; )

haha. im such a loser. I spelled vagina wrong XD wtf is wrong with me...

He carefully placed the rest of her body on the bed in "a gentle Bob manner"

Hahaha XD that was amazing lol haha I love Bob! Amazing updates lover, Cay Cock likes this story sooo much =] and demands...yes, demands that Erin[vagain] updates this story super soon, mkay?

Haha ily!