A Night in Venice - Comments

  • nearly witches.

    nearly witches. (15250)

    :
    Admin
    Gender:
    Age:
    29
    Location:
    Great Britain (UK)
    I don't know about the first paragraph of the piece, to be honest. It seems a little...rushed? I reckon it could do with some expansion, but that's just my own opinion. Maybe expand on why the previous relationship broke up, or show the character at the airport. I just felt like it was there to give us a reason as to why she was going to Venice and when I read it, it kind of put me off a little.

    The rest of this piece, however, is absolutely lovely. Your description is really dynamic and it definitely paints a picture in the reader's head. gain, I don't know if the romance moved on too quickly but regardless of that, the interactions between Matina and Giovanni were super-sweet and really romantic. I especially love the little quote at the very end of the piece, the part about them being married and him being her light. Super-sweet!

    All-in-all, aside from the very beginning, I really enjoyed this piece. Good job! Cute
    June 5th, 2014 at 05:21pm
  • Theo Rossi;

    Theo Rossi; (150)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    29
    Location:
    United States
    I love this. It's so sweet. I love the details and the ending. I'm a sucker for a happy ending. I think you have really mixed in Venice really well.
    May 8th, 2014 at 11:46pm