July 12th, 2014 at 10:16am
I think you are a very talented writer honestly and I love that. You have a really wonderful style and I love it. I can't help but get super into what you write because you write it oh so well. You manage to captivate me oh so wonderfully and I love it.
I think the idea behind this was really great, but I think maybe it would be better suited if it wasn't a drabble. There are lot of gaps that I found myself trying to fill like why doesn't Lillian speak? There must be a reason for that, at least I think there would be one. I think something like this needs to be fully developed.
My favorite passage of this piece is "Her hair was just as red as cherries, and her skin was paler than blossoms. I touched her petals, gripping her arms as if she were my lifeboat." I was blown away with reading this. The phrasing and use of figurative language was just perfect. I thought that this passage was a real gem. I pictured Lillian in such a wonderful way and I was glad I had this to help me see her. I was able to learn so much about her by just those few sentences.
Overall, I think you did a really great job!
Thank you very much, and I've actually thought a long bit about why Lillian cannot speak and what I've come up with is that she's selectively mute, but not really by choice. She has the ability, physically, to speak, but lacks what is needed in the psychological department. Social anxiety and whatnot. She'll talk to Anna whenever she is *completely* comfortable with her and that'll more likely than not take a very long time.