Birdie - Comments

@ HazelRose
Aww thanks!

Oh my god this is beautiful. Not the 'I'm-trying-too-hard-to-sound-poetic fake kind but the real I'm-going-to-go-and-cry-now kind'

@ alliePANDA
Aww, thanks

The way you write is beautiful and raw and I really love this story so far

The way you write is beautiful and raw and I really love this story so far

@ Shayney92
Thanks so much! I will

OH MY GOODNESS!! This is one of the tear producing things I have ever read. I myself am speechless. I am interested about this eli guy. please keep up the amazing work! :)

@ Irony
Thanks so much!

@ ChemicallyAlive
Thanks so much!

this is abesalutly sad and perfect. i cried and thats how i know somthing is worth reading, if you litterly are pulled by what the character is feeling. LOVE THIS

This is heartbreakingly beautiful, and I hope you keep writing in it. :)

@ Halloweenlover
Thanks so much and that's okay :)

Candy bowl! I have to agree with the other comments, this piece is amazing. So much detail went into this piece and it shows through to the reader. I love how the 1st chapter ended:

Because twenty-five days ago I found my sister with a stomach full of pills and lungs free from air. It has been twenty five days since she left and eighteen since I have spoken and I wonder if I will ever be able to stop counting. It is 11.15 am and I can’t breathe again.

It gives an eerie feel to the end of the chapter and I think that's what surprises readers. Yes, from the beginning we didn't know exactly what was wrong, but we could tell something was off. When you clarify what it is at the end it is a spine chilling surprise. I think you did well with this story. Sorry I took a little bit to get to your story, I was studying for tests.

Anyway good job on this! :)

@ purple89
Thanks so much!

@ Bangarang!
Thanks so much!

Aren't i glad you moseyed on over to my candy bowl and left this as your suggested piece for me to read and comment on!
This is really a phenomenal piece of writing. I honestly feel her sorrow and the way you write...you give away some but not all therefore making your readers crave more....make them want to know exactly what happened to Alison and what role that math teacher had to play in it all.
I loved how Eli got her the white board and i love how she wrote the word "bye" when she was leaving and i could picture Eli smiling.
Really a great piece of work. I'm subscribing...i want to know more...
Anyhoo...keep up the good work!
And happy Mibbaween from me

First of all I just wanted to say that I loved the passage on the Title page.

The first chapter was beautifully written, you have a way with words, they flow with such ease and it stirred emotions inside of me. As soon as I read the first Paragraph I was instantly hooked. The mystery of not knowing who this girl was and how she was connected to the main character had me devouring everything wanting desperately to know.

When she drew the picture it was realistic and believable, the way you portrayed how Abigail drew a bird was interesting. The reason behind her drawing the bird was so beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time.

The end of this chapter was amazing.It has been twenty five days since she left and eighteen since I have spoken and I wonder if I will ever be able to stop counting. this is my favourite line from the chapter hands down.

I have already fallen in love with Eli and I barely know him but he seems like such a nice guy. A genuine guy that wants to help Abigail. His witty remark when he gave her the whiteboard caused me to smile.

This is a great story and you are a fantastic writer :)
Please update soon :)
Cheers Esther