The Dullest Knife - Comments

Hello~ I’m here to judge for the Pick and Choose contest.

I really liked this one-shot. Though I’m not gonna lie, I was definitely overwhelmed by the length. I thought it was going to take me awhile to finish this both because it was so long and admittedly, it does start slow. But I ended up finishing it in about an hour and I was definitely entertained. Well, in the sense that I wasn’t bored or anything because I definitely wasn’t amused by the emotions.

I really, really like the way you wrote the characters. Not personality wise—though I did enjoy that—but in such a way that I was on their level. I actually knew who everyone was (because aye, my 2007 emo angst days thrived on these bands), but I wasn’t familiar with them either and definitely not on a personal level. So I appreciate that you treated them like original characters and went through the effort to lay out their stories, personalities, and emotions for me. Honestly, the entire thing did read like an original fiction. If I had somehow managed to live under a rock for 10+ years and escaped any knowledge of these bands and people whatsoever, I still could have read this easily and could have mistaken it for an original fiction story. You were fantastically thorough and elaborate with both the plot and the characters. It made it really easy for me to get invested in the characters and relationships, to the point where I was actually giving commentary to my girlfriend the entire time, oops. But also like…

Obviously, I knew heartbreak was coming by the time the first flashback happened so it was like Thanks to him, she started smiling again and all the stress and negativity that had overcome her diminished when she was around him. and I was like well thanks for the memories, but clearly they aren’t so great from here. There’s something really wrong about a FOB joke about a Paramore/You Me At Six/Bring Me the Horizon/All Time Low (???) fanfic And then it happened and NOPE. BYE.

And okay, look. I feel bad for Oli because he did something risky because you can’t help what your heart wants, but at the same time, that’s what you get? (There’s a bad Paramore joke in there and someone please save me from myself.)

Okay, before I drown this comment in bad jokes, I’ll go back to being more professional.

One of my favorite things was how you layered the past and present. Your transitions were seamless; you never lost me or the flow when you moved between them. You could have written the entire story in order rather than swinging back and forth in past and present, and it would’ve read the exact same. That’s how graceful your shifts were, and I really loved it because I have such a love-hate relationship with flashbacks. Mostly because it’s hard to do them with ease and without losing the flow. I like how the flashbacks were written as if they were happening in real time, rather than some romanticized version from a heartbroken Hayley. There was happiness and love, but there was also a looming sense of misery (because she’s in the business, let’s take it from the top, AND ALRIGHT I’M STOPPING) and bitterness because we already knew something goes wrong with both Josh and Oliver.

My only teeny bit of “nitpicking” is over spelling errors, but it’s only because everything else about this was so well polished that both errors stood out like sore thumbs:

But that didn’t really phase them. – This should be ‘faze’ rather than ‘phase’.

I’m already liking how I’m here and not moaping around in my house. – Should be ‘moping’ instead.

But also, I really loved the ending? Like a lot. I love the message and sentiment it had. I love that Hayley got her happy ending after a lot of suffering and sadness. It was so hopeful and romantic and sweet, and it pulled everything together charmingly. It was so worth it in the end. I mean, you put her through a rollercoaster of emotions and traumatic endings to relationships she definitely invested her heart into so she may or may not need therapy because she’s a walking travesty, but it was well worth it.

I’M SORRY I’M LEAVING GOODBYE

Oh my loooord, this just, wow.

I love this, it's amazing, you're amazing, we are all amazing. I was so sad because Hayley was sad and I demanded an explanation, but then Josh Franceschi's beautiful self arrived and I thought everything would be a-okay.

Hahahaha, no.

Man, once Dan was mentioned, I knew shit was going to go down pretty quick. The fact that they were together for four years surprised me cause I thought, "Hey, maybe Dan will go ahead a do something?" Because for some odd ball reason, I just knew that he had feelings for Josh. And he finally admitted it to Josh, but before he was about to move away. Ahhhhh! And then they got together the day Hayley and Josh were supposed to leave. Ouch, my heart. Poor Hayley.

I was glad to hear that they were still friends, I was waiting for Oliver to arrive and he came yes. Except not yes, because I knew things were gonna fuck up and I was right, oh my goodness. I was sooo rooting for Hayliver because it is the ship, yo. And Lee just had to show up, ugh whyyyyy. And he just left in front of everyone, poor Hayley. Why must they all be gay? Sigh.

For some weird reason, still, I was waiting for like Alex Gaskarth or Chad Gilbert to come along in the end of this to make her happy and smile again so they can all be cute together and everything is great, and someone was bound be jealous. But shiiiit, I was right cause Alex came, awww. I sort of feel bad for Oliver cause he's not with Lee and maybe he wanted another chance, but nope, Alex beat you to it, Oli. Bam, bitch.

(oh my gosh, i just realized she's goin' after all the gorgeous british lads, good game hayley)

But any who, you did a great job messing with my feels. And it was beautifully written, an A+++++++++ for sure! Now when I see All Time Low live tomorrow, I will think in the back of my mind of how Alex got the girl, mwahaha.

I have to say that this story was amazing. I loved how you went from flashbacks to present, it truly was awesome. You did it pretty well, so thank you for that. It's an original way to write a story.

You messed with my feels, but I don't care. I loved it. It was hard reading this story, it was hard seeing Hayley being so sad. Your writing skills are so good that we could perfectly understand her feelings and relate to it. Being heartbroken isn't the best of things at all and you portrayed it so well.

The wedding scene is the one that broke my heart the most. It must be an horrible situation to live. If something like that happened to me, I would probably be as sad and depressed as Hayley was. Love can be the best, yet the worst feeling in the world.

I loved the ending though, how she finally found peace and solace. I loved how after she was finally smiling again after all the pain she has been through. Hayley deserved her happy ending and I'm happy you gave it to her.

Seriously, thanks for writing this story. It was so beautiful! I'll probably end up reading more works from you. I love how well you can write ^^

This was a whole fucking roller coaster of feels, let me tell you. First of all, perfect usage of flashbacks to explain the present reality. Loved that. My face throughout this whole fic was not pretty, it was so pained because of all the pairings that came together then broke apart. It was tragic in the best and worst ways possible.

Because we all knew the Hayley x Josh ship would sink then the Hayley x Oli ship followed suit but it also ended with Oli x Lee not lasting either?! KILLING ME. I already knew some shit would go down once I read "white dress." I imagined each painful scene so vividly, especially during the church scene, I was probably in one of the pews on the down low.

But the fact that Hayley was able to find solace with Taylor, Jeremy, Kat, & Bliss was so adorable that it eased the pain a fair bit. Their own little family of cuteness.

That twist at the end though GOOD LORD YOU DIDN'T WARN ME ENOUGH. I have too many ships to keep track of these days but I don't even mind.