Flight K-35542 - Comments

I'm here delivering a holiday treat!

layout / Summary

Layout is nice, simple. I have absolutely no idea who anyone from the band are (not a huge fan) so having the picture of (or at least I'm assuming) the two main characters is a really good help for me! The summary had me hooked instantly, although I'm getting on my first ever plane in a month so I don't know if reading about a crash is such a good idea, haha! Nonetheless, I'm interested right from the get-go with this one.

Content

The thing that I like about this is how much of Kellin's emotions you get in, especially during the first chapter. I like how it goes from him discussing how incredible his trip was to all of a sudden, being thrown into an absolute tragedy. It's interesting to see how people react to that and obviously, Kellin's reaction is how I expected. I kind of found it amusing that Vic still decided to be a jerk afterwards though, but even then, the later chapters show that as something of a defence mechanism, which is pretty cool. I feel like I get to know the characters as they go about their business on the island.

Another thing I find interesting is how quickly their relationship is blossoming. I'm unsure as to whether it'd blossom elsewhere, so I'm wondering whether the fact that they are both stuck on the island by themselves is the reason why they're getting so close. Nonetheless, it is quite adorable.

What I'm really intrigued to find out is if they actually do happen to get off the island. I mean, I'd say it's only a matter of time before the food supplies run out so I'd love to see how they'd deal with that, or if anyone does happen to come and get them.

Concrit

There were a few spelling mistakes here and there, but nothing major. The only thing I saw in terms of grammar was the way that you were structuring your dialogue. At the end of a piece of dialogue, you usually have a comma as opposed to a period and the dialogue tag (she said, he said, etc) shouldn't be capitalised. For example, the following piece of dialogue:

''I think so as well.'' He said.

should be:

"I think so as well," he said.

It's a little thing, but it'll be quite a simple thing to pick up on throughout. Aside from that, no major grammar issues either!

Overall

This is an interesting premise for a story and you're writing it quite well! I was rather sceptical at first that they would be able to survive for that long, but it is fiction after all, so I don't take too much stock on that. Keep going, you're doing a lovely job!

@ HelloMissLady7
Thank you :)!!

I love this ^.^

@ MonaLisa;;
Is it that bad? :/

@ maudaah
Oh! I didn't know that. No worries then, dear :)

@ MonaLisa;;
Yeah I know about that, my English is kind of bad haha! My 1st language is French :/

I like this story, but there's quite a few spelling mistakes. I'm not trying to be mean, it's just kinda hard to read. But it's a good story, despite that :)

@ maudaah
:)

@ h3arts0nfir3
thank you beautiful :)

@ maudaah
the update was beautiful !

@ h3arts0nfir3
I'll update soon!

@ maudaah
you're welcome im so excited for the next chapter!!

@ h3arts0nfir3
Oh my thank you ;)!!

THANK U SO MUCH this chapter was the bomb dot com:)

@ Kellicxo
It is back on track!

Yesss I missed this!!

this is a really cute story and I love it!

@ coreofcuddles
Aww thanks! Love you too xx

@ maudaah
Ahw awesome! Ah I;m sure you won't suck! Southern love was amazing. so you'll be great! Love you!

@ Hail Agramon
Just saw your comment! Ha-Ha yeah I kinda put that fancfic on hiatus, but I'll finish it now, it should be over in maybe 2 months haha