London Bridge Is Falling - Comments

@ thinkofabetter1
Thanks for the feedback. I wanted Dylan to be a bit of a player haha.

It was good. I see you used a lot movie plots, man I love 28 days later, never get tired of watching it. And resident evil, I was thinking that Alice would have shown up or something, nah it was good story. Dylan is a player lol but idunno he moved on to quickly from jake I kept thinking Jake was going to pop out and be like wtf, I thought you loved me.

@ Eridan's Royal Blood
Once again, thanks for the feedback.

I really enjoyed the plot of this, but I wish greater detail would've been put into it. Also, it seemed like Dylan just stayed a flat character the entire time. I would've liked to see some evolution with him. It seemed like he didn't even grieve over Jake. He just moved onto Luke. That bothered me a bit, especially since Dylan and Jake loved one another so much. I figured Dylan would have moments of vengeance, where he'd stop at nothing to avenge Jake's death.

There was also the moment where Dylan kissed Luke and the infection didn't spread. I believe it was Lara that said that Dylan's immune system made that happen. I was really hoping you would've done something else with that.

The ending left me very unsatisfied. I wish you just would've put more behind it.

You're very good at thinking up nice plots, but I think you need to put much more description into what you write. Make me feel what you're putting down. This story was okay, but I feel like you could've made it so much more.

You should probably go over your grammar once again. I saw a few mistakes (I know not everyone is perfect. I'm just saying that there were times where grammar mistakes took away from the flow of the story).

No problem! I love it so far :)

@ Jacket.slut
Thank you so much. I really hope for this to be a successful story. I'm really glad you like it. I normally post chapters every night. But I think I'm gonna do a mid season finale type of thing for the next chapter. Thanks again for reading

i love it. The title is wonderful, because I instantly thought it was adorable, and just the whole emotional flow is great. I'm excited for more