Lyle's Becky - Comments

I love how this story jumps right into the action whilst also managing to explain the situation that Becky, and by extension the reader, are in.

I really want to know why Lyle is being so mean to Becky, she doesn't seem to know what she's done, and I really want to know. I wish Tyler was a little bit stronger of a character, I don't root for him at all, at least not so far.

This story ending. I can't tell if it's positive or not. I feel conflicted about whether the relationship between Lyle and Becky is totally toxic or if they're perfect for each other. I feel like they really didn't work things out at the end, they just kind of brushed things off. But at least their issues are out in the open and they can at least try.

I love endings that aren't totally closed, it's like we've gotten a look in on a segment in the relationship and the rest is filling in the blanks for ourselves as a reader.

Here judging the entries to the quotes contest!

Content

Most people usually choose to write about the nice parts of relationships which is cute enough, but this seems real. Couples have fights and they break up and make up and without communication, everything can go to pot. Even before the final paragraph, I was really getting the sense of that, that the one thing that Lyle and Becky had found problematic was the lack of communication from both ends. It's really the essence of what starts an argument - things that people have built up inside and should have gotten out long before that point.

Honestly, it's nice to see such a honest and interesting view of a part of a relationship. When I read the title, I thought I was going to be reading something rather lovey-dovey (and it was towards the end) but it showed this really interesting aspect of a relationship growing and evolving as the two people realise what they do and don't want happening - Lyle with the act of ownership and Becky with not wanting to lose him because she had given so much. It's definitely a really lovely and interesting snapshot of a particular moment in time.

Concrit

Like a few other people said, the end of this seems rather rushed. I find it slightly unrealistic that they would make up that quickly and be thick as thieves at that very second. Aside from that, I don't think I saw anything else!

Overall

Lovely piece, very insightful and interesting to read. Good job!

I have to start of by saying that I find that the beginning paragraph is very interesting, and I immediately understand the emotions that is going through the main character's head.

I know that is sucks that when the person you love doesn't want you anymore even if you want them. It's a very painful thing, and this seems to really carry the emotions through which is a very good thing.

I kind of really like when Lyle told her why. It just seemed to hit in the emotions. Does that make any sense at all?

I'll be honest that the last paragraph seemed a little rushed. I really think if there was a little more to it; it wouldn't feel so rushed.

Other than the rushed ending, I think this is a very good story. Of course, I never expect anything less from you since you are such a talented writer.

This wasn't a bad read, but I felt like it was a bit rushed... I don't know, might just be me. I think you did a great job creating some of the tension between the characters in this story and describe the complications that can go hand in hand with different relationships. The part that felt the most rushed though was the fight and the resolution of that fight. I was a bit confused about who wanted to own who and why, even though I thought the fight was about being too possessive... I just feel like an issue like this should have been discussed more, and maybe not completely resolved by the end of this. Maybe an ending with a more hopeful approach, like "Ok, we've talked about this, I understand what you're saying and we just need to work a bit more on what's bothering us." (I'm just making this up as I go, sorry if I'm not making sense.) Anyway, I just felt there were a lot of big issues that just felt like they were fixed to quickly and too conveniently, but that's just me. You're definitely a talented writer and I enjoyed reading!

I haven't read the other parts of this story, but I read this one anyway. I thought it was a realistic scene between two young people who just haven't learned that communication is the most important part of a relationship. It's a lesson hard learned by many.

I like how Becky was willing to stand her ground and get to the bottom of what was going on. I also like how she didn't get defensive when Lyle was honest. I also think that Lyle is an idiot for not just being honest, but that's teenage boys for you. They don't realise that opening their mouths and talking about their feelings isn't always a bad thing.

I feel for Tyler, who is obviously determined to be a good friend even though he was rejected.

I also think you're missing an 'I' as the first word to this. It just starts with 'braced myself'.

Overall, it's a lovely scene, well written and I enjoyed reading it.

Oooh that was good
The dialogue between the two felt really real
But I feel sorry for Tyler aw bless him!
♥