Pale - Comments

Your layout is absolutely gorgeous I love it. I like that the content area is transparent it adds a nice effect.

What I really like about this drabble is that at first it seems to be written in third person, but then the reader finds out it’s in first person. It changes the entire mood of the piece. Furthermore, I love how it starts out very somber and devoid of happiness, and then it takes on a lighter, almost playful tone.

This drabble does a really nice job of painting a picture. To me it’s pure description. I like the last sentence and it makes me wonder who this ghostly girl is and why she is giving flowers to people just entering the afterlife.

Thanks for entering my contest!

Hi!

This was absolutely beautiful...I don't even know where to begin. I suppose I should start from the beginning...

To start off, you really hooked me in straight from the layout. I am a sucker for simple yet dramatic imagery and statements and I loved this layout from the image to the colors. Not to judge a book by its cover, but the layout combined with the short poetic summary really compelled me to read on.

Onto the piece itself...I know I already said I loved simple things, but here is another things I absolutely love; I love short pieces. Don't get me wrong, I love chaptered stories as well but I love dramatic things. And this 100-word piece really hit the target. It was short, yes, but that added to the whole simplicity of the package. You didn't put in anything the readers didn't need, only the things we just needed. And the details...oh my goodness, I am in love. This piece is very poetic and oddly soothing to me. You basically had everything I love.

Normally when I leave a comment, I try to be constructive but I really have nothing bad to say about this. Here, you have my recommendation.

Well done!!

I adored this. I absolutely love finding small pieces like this. They hold so much impact and so many emotions in just one passage, it literally blow my mind.

Wow, yet again a very short yet powerful peace written by you. I really liked it, although I got a sneak peak of the ending I didn't really expect it at first?
She comes off as a simple, ignored soul but then she's just gone? And it just baffles my mind, like what the fuck she's a ghost... haha, I really didn't expect it - mainly because she's smoking a cigarette, such a simple gesture that most people do on at least a daily basis and yet it made her seem alive instead of a ghost until the end.

I think it's also a very peaceful twist that she's giving an orchid to someone, it's just... somewhat chilling... is this person alive? And is it some sort of message... I don't know, but it's really cool!

Wow!

Wow! For this to be so short... it really made a huge impression on me. I wasn't expecting it to end the way it did - which is particularly what made it so wonderful to me. It made this whole idea go off in my head - no one else noticed her because she is a ghost. In fact, she very well might be death herself. The absence of color and movement. If she isn't death, then she could be a guide for this new spirit entering the afterlife. But then that adds a whole lot of other questions... who is this person? How did they die? Part of me wants answers while the other part of me realizes that you're actually a literary genius by ending it the way you have. You leave the reader hanging, but in the best of ways. Spectacular. Also, good luck in the contest that this is entered in!