What a unique idea! I loved the concept. I was surprised that I liked Cain, as character's like him tend to annoy me in their cocky nature, but he was just so lovable! It helps that he was a cat, too.
I did find the end to be confusing and a bit all-over the place. Especially when writing scenes like that, we must be really careful that we're translating well. I've got a scene in my story like it (to an extent) that I'm still polishing because I just can't afford any sort of confusion on the events that take place. After reading the section thrice, however, I caught on well and appreciated the scene as a visual and as a literary moment. One thing that I did pick up on was how well you wrote her conflict. I was unsure and a bit scared myself. Actually, I felt her conflict the entire story! Leila is an absolutely adorable person and I just wanted to love her. She seems so helpless (obviously enough so that her neighbor was cooking for her) but she is a lot tougher than she is credited for, I believe. Muteness is a really cool concept to me, obviously not like it's cool as in good, but cool. Being cursed sucks, but I loved reading about her suffering, to be honest. But it isn't that what all us readers love? To feel and experience other's problems instead of our own?
Basically, I'm saying I loved your piece. Based on my criterion, you've received a 16/20. Well done! The points were only removed because of the confusing scene and a few grammatical errors. I am excited to read more from you and I apologize for the late comment. I was busy at the time you submitted your piece. I've read it three times now, as I truly do adore it!
I did find the end to be confusing and a bit all-over the place. Especially when writing scenes like that, we must be really careful that we're translating well. I've got a scene in my story like it (to an extent) that I'm still polishing because I just can't afford any sort of confusion on the events that take place. After reading the section thrice, however, I caught on well and appreciated the scene as a visual and as a literary moment. One thing that I did pick up on was how well you wrote her conflict. I was unsure and a bit scared myself. Actually, I felt her conflict the entire story! Leila is an absolutely adorable person and I just wanted to love her. She seems so helpless (obviously enough so that her neighbor was cooking for her) but she is a lot tougher than she is credited for, I believe. Muteness is a really cool concept to me, obviously not like it's cool as in good, but cool. Being cursed sucks, but I loved reading about her suffering, to be honest. But it isn't that what all us readers love? To feel and experience other's problems instead of our own?
Basically, I'm saying I loved your piece. Based on my criterion, you've received a 16/20. Well done! The points were only removed because of the confusing scene and a few grammatical errors. I am excited to read more from you and I apologize for the late comment. I was busy at the time you submitted your piece. I've read it three times now, as I truly do adore it!
P.S. STUNNING LAYOUT OH MY IT'S SO PRETTY