Your Inaccessible Light - Comments

Hi. :) I want to see what happens next!

The only thing that gets me about this story is that the chapters are each one scene. It's like we're getting it piece by piece rather than in fluid scenes that connect to each other. The chapters are just so staccato that it's difficult to get into them.

It might just be me that thinks this and feel free to ignore me, but I just wanted to let you know my thoughts on it. A suggestion would be to write more than one scene in each chapter. Like for the last one, instead of it being just her talking to the guys, continue on to when she finds Ronnie and then stop it when she sees him (or he sees her) or she shows up at his house, etc. Just try to make it more inclusive rather than one piece at a time.

@ PoeticMess.
Haha, I suppose I can accept that ;p

Okay! The best stories make its readers frustrated, so I understand why you're holding off! :P That doesn't mean I have to like it. lol.

@ PoeticMess.
That would be really sweet :') I'm getting to that, don't worry. I have quite a few chapters written actually but I won't post them all at once. I know what you mean though and I do have something like that in mind so bear with me ;p

Hey! Ugh! I want to see how Ronnie interacts with her friends! I would've loved to see him celebrate with her & be cute in front of everyone. It would've been so funny to see their reaction to him actually being near them.

They always mention him, but never really get to spend much time with him around them. I could imagine that they'd go completely silent or something. haha. I love the dynamic between Noelle and Ronnie. She sort of fits in nicely with them but isn't forced to pick which group she wants to be in. I don't know, I just really like it.

I can't wait to see how they interact when all of them are forced together. I keep imagining a scene where she's with her friends and Ronnie shows up & sort of stakes his claim over her. Like, he fits there because she's there. Idunno. :P

@ PoeticMess.
Haha, well just for you I'll update now

Still waiting for an updaaaaaate. ;)
I don't find that many good Ronnie stories that are updated anymore so I'm sort of dying over here...

No pressure.

@ PoeticMess.
It's fine lovely :) and yaya that makes me happy. You're so dedicated to writing, like I absolutely love writing but I hardly have any time. Can't wait to finish school and then I have like 4 months to focus purely on writing x

@ Ella Joanne
I'm trying to get Who We Are written and finished soon. I know I've sad that a lot, but I mean it this time! Now that Infinite is done, it's my main focus! I want to get it done before I start the the Trouble-Maker/Infinite sequel! :)

& yeah I totally agree. There are many talented writers in the FIR/ETF fandom!

PS! Sorry to comment this here! I wasn't playing attention! I thought it was your profile!

@ PoeticMess.
Aww yay :') I'm so pleased you like this. I don't understand why the fandom isn't bigger because they're so talented and ajsklajgjslk but I guess I am biased. And yeah, I like Who We Are a lot and I didn't feel like reading it once was sufficient. And you're totally welcome by the way :)

DUDE your reply just made my day!! That comparison.. omgosh. But yeah! I really like this! When I started reading, I was surprised there were only seven comments. The FIR fandom isn't the biggest, but it's definitely not small either! Just keep writing it and more people will catch on, because it's good :)

& thank you so much for the compliments. That really helps me too! I literally rely on criticism for my stories. haha. & wait, 4 times?? I don't even think I've reread them at many times. Thank you :)

@ PoeticMess.
Thank you so much for this. This comment literally made my day. I've read a lot of your stories and you're my favourite writer on here by far. I really hope you become a published writer one day because you're so talented and I can't stop reading your stories, like there's one which I've read maybe 4 times. I'm so happy, I feel like a famous person just commented haha.

I will go through in the next week or so and space it out more so hopefully that does attract more readers. Thank you again. Keep being fantabulous x

First of all - I love Ronnie Radke.
Secondly, this is interesting! I've found this a couple times on here but was never really in the mood to read through it, but I'm glad I did tonight! Since there's not a lot of spaces between speech and paragraphs, it's a little overwhelming if you don't have the patience to really sit down and pay attention that hard, but it's worth the read!

That's a suggestion I would make though, try hitting enter between speech and paragraphs. What I mean is turn this:

I sit in the one on the right. Anxiously, I scan the room for a familiar face, even though I know I won’t see one. No one knows me here. I am the outsider. I am alone.
“Good morning class, I hope you all had a good summer,” Mrs. McDonald says with a smile far too wide for a Monday morning. The classroom door swings open and a tall slim male figure appears in the doorway.

into this:
I sit in the one on the right. Anxiously, I scan the room for a familiar face, even though I know I won’t see one. No one knows me here. I am the outsider. I am alone.

“Good morning class, I hope you all had a good summer,” Mrs. McDonald says with a smile far too wide for a Monday morning. The classroom door swings open and a tall slim male figure appears in the doorway.

Separating the paragraphs with an extra space makes it easier to follow along and less blocky. Same goes for speech texts.

Mr. Radke, nice of you to finally join us,” Mrs. McDonald sighs, “I hope you don’t make a habit of arriving late or you will land yourself in detention, much like you did last year.”
“Sorry Miss, can you forgive me?” he smirks.
“Sit down Ronnie,” Mrs. McDonald mutters...

Mr. Radke, nice of you to finally join us,” Mrs. McDonald sighs, “I hope you don’t make a habit of arriving late or you will land yourself in detention, much like you did last year.”

“Sorry Miss, can you forgive me?” he smirks.

“Sit down Ronnie,” Mrs. McDonald mutters...

Otherwise there's really no other suggestions or criticisms I can give! :) It's just the blocky format that turns people away. I think if it was spaced differently, there would be so many people from the fandom checking out this story! :)

Thanks for the update can't wait for morreee

Thank you, means a lot x

I fell behind but I caught up quick. I loooooooooooooove this so much!

Aww thanks, should be another chapter in the next few days xx

This is really awesome! Keep it up :)

My first comment, thank you lovey <3

I really like this so far. :) I love how you write, very detailed.