July 11th, 2017 at 09:55am
So I thought this was a very cute story. I liked how you chose something that you weren't too familiar with, but you didn't let that stop you. You still went for it and overall I was impressed with the story. You have impeccable spelling and grammar. I think you know your style and you stay true to it no matter what.
I think the issue here was that it was all too quick. This is not a complete story, there needs to be more. It feels like the first chapter to a longer story, not just a one shot. I think it needed more overall development for it to really pack the punch you seemed to be aiming for.
Overall, I think you did a nice job with the story and you are a very good writer.
Gah, this was such a cute one-shot. I love dogs so much, like it’s ridiculous. I would die for a dog that just looked at me, to be honest. I would sell my soul to rescue all the dogs on this planet. And the fact that you wrote it where Briana adopted a shelter dog rather than bought one from a pet store!! That was fantastic because there’s so many puppers that don’t get what they deserve because people don’t adopt. I loved that little bit. I also loved how you included that little bit of Briana’s backstory so the fact that she was adopting a dog was as monumental to the readers as it was for her. (And the “don’t get me started because I’ll rant for days” moments are very ME about dogs, oh man.)
The way Briana asked Cris out was so cute? Seriously one of the cutest ways ever. It was kind of awkward, but really endearing and I loved how Cris was like encouraging her to continue with this cute little blush. I ship it~
I do think that this could be developed more because I’d love to see Briana and Cris get to know each other with Spark being their common ground in the beginning.
So yes. This was one of the cutest one-shots in existence, thank you for blessing me.