Levity - Comments

  • Lupy180

    Lupy180 (100)

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    Im so glad to read another chapter! I hope to read more soon but please take your time. This story is a true work of art that I am highly addicted to
    December 11th, 2019 at 02:28am
  • RosesForNicole

    RosesForNicole (100)

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    I'm confused about who has her at the end. Is it finally Bruce or is it Jack?

    Also, I find her just walking out of the house and buying clothes like that a little too easy. Somethings going to come of that, right?

    I love in the beginning we get an inner dialogue from Eleanor. I love when she's in her head and the drama it causes.
    May 30th, 2018 at 09:50pm
  • RosesForNicole

    RosesForNicole (100)

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    Sorry, I haven't had time to read this yet. I love your main character, but I still remember you teasing about a relationship between Harley and Jack. I'm not patient when it comes to that lol.

    As for this chapter, I actually really like it although because it's flashback I would recommend writing in past tense rather than present.

    My favorite part besides the epic explanation of fear at the end is the lines “You don't seem that much older.” My voice is a crackling whisper, a log on a fire but he hears, half smiles. “It speaks.” Malice is missing, amusement in its familiar place. “Are you able to get home? I can call you a cab?”. I'd also recommend breaking up your dialogue a bit more so the reader knows exactly whose speaking when.
    January 23rd, 2018 at 09:36pm
  • RosesForNicole

    RosesForNicole (100)

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    I adore the ending to this chapter. The ambiguity of it is perfect. Plus, she finally called Bruce. I have to admit I'm disappointed in Wade, but something tells me his smarter than he's letting on.
    August 21st, 2017 at 05:44pm
  • RosesForNicole

    RosesForNicole (100)

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    I just got to the end. And I adore you right now. I need more. I need to know about Harley and in all honesty, I kind of changed my mind about wanting to ship J and Elle. I want to know more about what went down between her and Bruce.
    July 18th, 2017 at 03:29am
  • RosesForNicole

    RosesForNicole (100)

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    I have to tell you that I love this! In Chapter one, admittedly, I kind of shipped Bruce and Eleanor; but now that I'm on part 7, I'm shipping Wade and Elle. I want to ship her and Jack though since he has a grasp on her that just won't quit. Also, I think I'd like something from Jack's point of view.

    On the critique side, you have a few grammar things like in one chapter you had something like and he was getting to get hurt... just little things like that throughout could be better. Your layout, even though simple, is perfection.

    I look forward to more of this.
    July 17th, 2017 at 09:59pm
  • amandarenee08

    amandarenee08 (100)

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    I really love this!
    July 11th, 2017 at 06:19pm
  • Lupy180

    Lupy180 (100)

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    I read all of it in one night keep up the good work! I can't wait for more!
    June 17th, 2017 at 04:13am
  • paracosm.

    paracosm. (110)

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    Ah I'm glad you're starting this up again ^u^
    August 13th, 2015 at 02:25am
  • paracosm.

    paracosm. (110)

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    I miss this!
    August 11th, 2015 at 06:41pm
  • settheworldonfire

    settheworldonfire (100)

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    Two chapters and I am already hooked!!
    August 11th, 2014 at 07:40pm
  • Tayluvssam

    Tayluvssam (100)

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    Love this!:)
    August 8th, 2014 at 02:56am
  • paracosm.

    paracosm. (110)

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    Ahh I'm so glad you're continuing the story! I love this c:
    August 7th, 2014 at 11:49pm