October 19th, 2014 at 05:46am
Well, for one, I love the header image. At first, I thought it was just a picture but then I watched it change and it was so calming and I'm already sleepy so it made me want to go curl up in my bed, heh. However, though I do like the layout, I feel like the image didn't fit the story? The GIF is serene, peaceful pretty much, and this entire piece is an emotional wreck from the first sentence. But this part of this comment doesn't even matter because it's all personal preference and outlooks. You might see it differently and that's okay! So take this with a grain of salt.
Moving onto the content, ahh. What a shattered heart I have now. I hated how Harper just knew before she was even completely awake because it was painful for her, and I wanted to be mad at Elijah but how long had this been going on? How many times had Harper said Noah's name in her sleep before it was finally the last time for Elijah? So I can't be mad, but I sympathize with him and I think he needed a hug, too. I think everyone needed a hug and Noah needed a smack across the face. I don't know what happened or why it happened, but it's clear that Harper loved him a lot and it wasn't a mutual break-up because I felt her heartbreak and the pain; that agonizing longing for something that's no longer tangible for whatever reason it is. I wanted so badly for him to have passed away because I'm a romantic and I didn't want to admit that he was just a jerk.
The detail and execution was fantastically written, I was very pleased. Because this is for a contest, I admittedly tried to find flaws but I didn't find anything! The only thing I had a problem with was the layout and like I said, you might be seeing something else in the GIF so it's all a matter of personal opinion. Other than that, everything was flawless. I didn't read any sentences that didn't flow and came out awkwardly. I really liked this piece. Great job!
thank you SO much! that's one of the best comments i've ever received!
i think the picture kind of captures her at the moment where she's just like "i can't cry. i just want to be numb right now" before she gets picked up by Maya. i guess that's where i was coming from, but i do see your point! honestly, it was just one of the better pictures that i could find. lmfao. but i appreciate your honesty :D
i was going to have him have passed away.. i was going to make it so he had a terminal illness and he passed away, but i couldn't bring myself to do it. most contest hosts love it, but i feel like it was too predictable i guess =/ idk. so i figured i'd just make him a huge screw up.
i'm honestly shocked you didn't find any flaws! i hurriedly wrote the ending of it and i was like "i'm not 100% happy with how it turned out, BUT i do like it" i'm just shocked really :D thank you for the very detailed comment! they always make me happy! Happy judging!