June 19th, 2008 at 07:00am
I wroted out a comment for this, but then refreshed the page, as you do x_x
So it poofed.
So here goes attempt number two:“I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.” Pale silvery moonlight floating into the room, casting a shadow over his precious face. But it’s contorted with rage and atrocity. Beyond him the mirror tells me mine is blank – numb, I can’t feel. I’m trying trying trying, but I can’t – I just can’t.
Great way to set the scene; you can really feel the sense of animosity between both of them. And the contrast as well is great; him, with such powerful and strong emotions as rage, and them, who seems unable to feel anything at all, no matter how much they want to.
I’ll load it.
“I c-can’t do this a-anymore,” falls from his mouth like dice, they tumble, the hit the ground, they make a noise that pierces the air.
I’ll aim it.
Just...:cheese:
Contrastiness again. You can see that he's just past breaking point, he can't even keep his words together. And yet they, in their epic unfeeliness, are still almost perfectly cohesive. They must feel so unfeeling, so cold, that they're willing to go to such extreme and final lengths to try and prove to be of any kind of use. But as far as emotion go, they're just flat, factual. Almost as if it was coldly professional.
I still feel nothing, while his tears fall to the ground, shattering all around us, like pretty crystalline, but it cuts into me, makes blood seep out, open wounds open wounds, slow painful death, those stupid pretty crystalline tears, they’re killing us both – only I can’t fucking feel it.
Awesome description is full of win. Pwnsome from the contrast side of things as well; you can see the emotion just constantly pouring out of him, and how it's almost beautiful in it's emotion, and how it's hurting them so much to see him like this, and to not be able to feel with him as well, that the tears are so powerful,so much so that they cause hurt akin to physcial damage. And yet still, there's no feeling.
Shirts falling off, hands running across chests, but he’s still crying and trembling, and I still can’t feel.
Still can’t feel.
Why is it that they want to feel? Perhaps to be able to stop speculating at the emotion he's feeling, to be able to experience it themselves, be able to empathise with him and share in the grief, together. Or maybe just ot feel any kind of emotion, any kind of feeling at all, for the sake of having any idea of what he's going through.
But you’ll fire it; bullet flies past the skin, shatters the bone, poisons the blood, and explodes in the heart. A searing, gaping hole.
But I don’t want to feel I don’t want to feel, I don’t don’t don’t. The hole keeps spreading, burning at the edges, tearing and bleeding, I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe.
Even with the loading and aiming of the gun, I wasn't expecting them in the slightest to actually fire it, to actually go through with it. It's almost like one of those lessons where the moral of the story is you should be careful what you wish for, because it might come true. And now it's like they're finally been granted that wish, but it's all too much for them to handle.
That last thing I see are pretty crystalline tears, sparkling in the moonlight, as my lungs give way.
I felt for the first time today.
You are a great one for all things bittersweet, Kor. -emote-
They've finally been able to feel, but you have to wonder at what cost.
And they seem to be slipping into a fate all too inevitable, but the last thing they see are those crystalline tears, which for all its sorrow is beautiful in itself.
I loves your oneshots. Drabbles ftw :yah
:arms:
Heart-wrenching and beautiful...<33