Somethin' Bad - Comments

  • red harlot.

    red harlot. (100)

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    Lol, okay, so I'm a heeuge fan of a7x AUs. I just found this and squeed the frick out. I absolutely adore Matt's adaptions already, and Gwen is a total babe. I mean, sure, you've finished this and have a sequel up but from the first chapter, I'm adoring it. Amazing writing, great flow, excellent word choice and execution of story speed. I cannot wait to finish this!! Cute
    October 28th, 2015 at 08:49pm
  • requiem.

    requiem. (205)

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    @ Synful Cocktail
    The sequel is up :)
    September 30th, 2015 at 09:32am
  • Synful Cocktail

    Synful Cocktail (100)

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    WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?1?1?1/1/1/1/1/1/1??!!!! I want to know who the fuck was filming them! HOLY SHIT! WHAT A WAY TO END!
    September 30th, 2015 at 09:01am
  • Myl

    Myl (100)

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    Oh wow what in amazing story
    I can not wait for the sequel
    So curious what will happen to Gwen and Matt
    And how this blackmailer is going to turn out to be
    September 27th, 2015 at 02:06pm
  • Myl

    Myl (100)

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    Oh wow what in amazing story
    I can not wait for the sequel
    So curious what will happen to Gwen and Matt
    And how this blackmailer is going to turn out to be
    September 27th, 2015 at 02:06pm
  • requiem.

    requiem. (205)

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    @ Damsel of Darkness
    First off, I totally miss your comments haha. About the story lengths, I usually try to get them to 1500 words. Sometimes I have plan for longer chapters but sometimes I'll cut out a scene or break a chapter up into 2 chapters instead of a really long 4k word chapter. I'm also just lazy sometimes tbh lol. And for the povs, I started the story off like that and realized that on the way through, but at that point I just never went back to edit the chapters. I'll fix it soon.
    September 27th, 2015 at 05:23am
  • Damsel of Darkness

    Damsel of Darkness (150)

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    I found this story and I was a bit hesitant at first (I'm not big on stories that are based around smut and I wasn't sure if that was the case with this story based off the summary) but I decided to give it a shot and I'm glad I did.

    I really enjoy the way you write. I like the amount of detail you give, without over explaining things and getting bogged down on the little details. It flows very nicely and allows the reader to easily picture the events and follow along with the characters.

    I have to warn you that I write my comments as I'm reading, so if it comes across a bit disjointed and random, that's why.

    Anyways, like the characters of Gwen and Matt a lot. It's different to see him portrayed as a boss type man that wears suits all the time (nice visual, too!) because it really seems to suit what we as fans know of his personality. And Gwen is sweet and a very relatable character. I personally relate to her somewhat people pleasing personality (one I suppose you would need in a role such as hers) and the way she can be confident in her job and what's expected of her, but then when it comes to her personal life and crush on Matt, she's the complete opposite.

    I physically cringed when she sent her short story to him and even though I knew it was going to happen (due to your summary) it was still a facepalm moment for sure. The way she scrambled to desperately get it back and then tried so hard to casually get him to delete it without reading it... Argh. Poor thing.

    The back and forth between them, with them fighting their attraction and trying so hard to keep things professional is also cringe worthy. Not in a bad way, just in the way they seem over react to things said, passing touches and glances and make it more awkward than it should be. But totally understandable considering the situation.

    I also like the back story of Matt and the reason why he tries to hard to keep things professional. Another writer might have simply not given him a real reason to want to keep his personal and professional life separate, but I really like that you did. It makes it more of a understandable struggle between his desires and sticking to what he perceives as the right thing to do, which gives the whole story more depth.

    A few things on the constructive criticism side... The dream sequence on the plane was very confusing. I mean, the scene itself wasn't, but then afterwards when it swapped to Matt's "point of view" I was really confused because it hadn't appeared to be a dream when it was in Gwen's "point of view". It wasn't until it switched back to hers and she actually mentioned it was a dream did it make sense. A minor thing but as a reader, it left me feeling like I somehow missed a couple of entire paragraphs and was confused.

    Also, I find your chapters (at this point) rather short. It feels like it just starts to get going and then bam, the chapter is over. Of course chapter lengths vary based on preference so honestly there's no right or wrong length, but I am one of those people that prefer them a little longer.

    And finally, this is super minor... But in my opinion, when you're writing in third person point of view, I don't think you need to state when the narrator switches to follow another character. What I mean by that, I don't think it's necessary to put "Matt's point of view", since it's still a third person pov, so maybe just a page break is all that's really necessary. Again, this is a personal preference, each author to their own kind of thing and that's just my opinion.

    Anyways, I'm up to chapter 16 and will continue reading. Just wanted to leave some feedback to avoid leaving a 3 page comment at the end. Haha.
    September 26th, 2015 at 09:36am
  • CharlieHunnam

    CharlieHunnam (100)

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    well what the hell. i'm glad i finally caught up on all of this. WELL JESUS ROLLERBLADING CHRIST. really?! idk. my money's on Amy or someone around her. i mean.. she knows. but i guess she's the obvious choice.
    September 24th, 2015 at 05:12am
  • OMFGitsBeckiie

    OMFGitsBeckiie (100)

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    Oh Jesus fuck. Please start the sequel asap!
    September 23rd, 2015 at 08:33pm
  • PhenoBarbiDoll

    PhenoBarbiDoll (150)

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    I don't really think there's much more to say than the sentiments that Lexi Wombat expressed. Lol.
    September 23rd, 2015 at 01:24am
  • DeidraX23

    DeidraX23 (100)

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    It's that asshole Todd isn't it?!?! Can't wait.
    September 22nd, 2015 at 05:19am
  • Lexi Wombat

    Lexi Wombat (105)

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    Oh fuck.
    September 21st, 2015 at 05:45am
  • requiem.

    requiem. (205)

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    @ PoeticMess.
    Well, yeah, sort of. There really isn't an ending, because the story's not over. Would you rather I just make it one story or.
    September 21st, 2015 at 05:39am
  • PoeticMess.

    PoeticMess. (150)

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    I really like the story, but that just didn't feel like the end of anything. I feel like you just stopped right at the climax and was like "yeah, this will get people to read my sequel." Even if there's going to be a sequel, the first story has to have a distinct beginning, middle, and end. Not just "girl sleeps with boss and now someone knows - the end."

    I've been reading this story from the beginning and I think you're really talented, but that just seemed like a way to get people to read the next one. It didn't feel like the end of anything.
    September 21st, 2015 at 03:34am
  • Cityofghost

    Cityofghost (100)

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    Omg! No I can't believe you left us hanging like that! I do hope that Gwen does not end up getting hurt, I hope that Matt finds some way of figuring out what to do. I hope his kick ass laywer will help him out. It has to be someone that works in the company to get a hold of the surveillance video. Hopefully they are able to break the encryption on the flash drive to figure out before someone gets hurt.
    September 20th, 2015 at 11:42pm
  • cheabea91

    cheabea91 (100)

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    OMGGGGG!! Noo! They should just be out in the open with it, something to lessen the blow of this black mailer omg!!
    I bet it was that one guy who tried to come on to Gwen!!!
    September 20th, 2015 at 09:47pm
  • Dixon-Darling.

    Dixon-Darling. (100)

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    WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTT
    THEE
    FUUUUUCCCKK.

    omfg.
    oh.
    emm.
    efff.
    gee.

    And you're making us wait till October first ?!?!?!!?!
    oh dear god help me.
    September 20th, 2015 at 08:21pm
  • AJ9

    AJ9 (100)

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    OMG!! I wonder who's blackmailing Matt?? I can't wait to find out, so please post the sequel soon .... Roll on October Mr. Green
    September 20th, 2015 at 05:15pm
  • MissylinaRose-Sming

    MissylinaRose-Sming (100)

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    Absolutely love your writing ^.^ keep it coming !!
    September 19th, 2015 at 03:28am
  • DeidraX23

    DeidraX23 (100)

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    Hmmm was Amy's last words any indication of things to come (no pun intended)? Mini Matt on the way? Shocked
    September 18th, 2015 at 10:55pm