Flashback - Comments

@ Kefka's Madness Hina

It's totally cool, thanks for pointing that out. I hate not having a grammar checker on my processor, since I have no basic grammar >.< Thanks high school, you helped so much. Haha.
I'll go through and fix it up tonight.

Damn if Piccolo wasn't tall! This story was very sad and kinda disheartening. I see the same mistakes I saw in your other one shot. You might want to try adding punctuation to your dialogue so that it won't be confusing and again, don't put in commas after quotes/dialogues. I'm not trying to be mean but like I said in my comment for your other DBZ one shot, commas outside of quotes and quotes without punctuation are kinda my pet peeves (it's no one's fault mine since I get kinda get confused real easily and I like to read stories without having to stumble over sentences more than two times.